Jul -- Posts by BoringPerson

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-01-18 08:50:10 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-02-18 03:19:57 PM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 1:

Winterbells, a little winter-themed Flash game by Orisinal. Use the mouse to hop on the bells~

More info: Orisinal: Morning Sunshine is a web site with lots of Flash games featuring cute animals and relaxing music. The site was created in 2000 and has won several awards.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-02-18 06:09:16 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-04-18 05:47:10 PM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 2:

So Advent calendars are a countdown to Christmas, and what better way to do that than... crash it and talk about Hanukkah!

(source)

This year, Hanukkah starts today at sundown and lasts until sundown next Monday. That's eight days. Why eight days? Well...

(source)

...As the traditional story goes, in 200 BCE, Judea (where a bunch of Jews were living) got taken over by some king who was pretty okay and let them do their Jewish stuff in their Temple. But then his son took over as king and was kind of an asshole. Among other things, he:
- invaded Judea
- outlawed Judaism
- had the Temple looted, had an alter to Zeus put in, and ordered pigs to be sacrificed on it (a tremendous no-no in Judaism, seriously what an asshole)
So some of the Jews got together and fought back, and by 165 BCE they succeeded in retaking Judea.

So the Jews got their Temple back, and the festival of Hanukkah was created to celebrate. Unfortunately, the Temple was kind of a mess, so as part of the celebration, they cleaned up the place, got a new altar, and set up a menorah (Jewish candle thingy) to burn pure olive oil every night.

...Except they only found enough oil for one night. Which miraculously lasted eight nights anyway, buying them enough time to make more olive oil. Thus the eight days of Hanukkah.

(source)

Asides:
- Strictly speaking, Hanukkah is a pretty minor holiday according to Jewish law... but it took place around the same time when Christian kids were getting all their Christmas gifts, and I guess Christians getting it mixed up with Christmas didn't help things either. For those curious, the really major Jewish holidays include stuff like Rosh Hashanah ("Jewish New Year"--starts September 29 next year) and Yom Kippur ("Day of Atonement"--starts October 8 next year).
- Hanukkah and other Jewish holidays start on different days each year; the date is determined by the Hebrew calendar, not the modern Gregorian calendar.
- Want to give a Hanukkah gift to one of your friends? Here's some good advice on what kinds of things to give and what to avoid.

(source)

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-03-18 01:33:44 PM, in From what device are you accessing Jul right now?

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An iPad Air. Most of the time, though, I access Jul with a laptop running Lubuntu (a lightweight version of Ubuntu Linux).

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Posted on 12-03-18 03:09:24 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-04-18 05:47:51 PM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 3:

Hiveworks Comics is a network of free-to-read webcomics. They have a knack for picking up really good ones.

I haven't read them all yet, but a few of the ones I really like are:

Alice and the Nightmare:

Boumeries:

Daughter of the Lilies:

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-04-18 09:31:46 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-13-18 03:13:02 AM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 4:

Gallus Rostromegalus is a blogger with a lot of hilarious, incredible stories. The following story is just one of many.

Originally posted by "Gallus Rostromegalus"

The Hummingbird

The Story of my Father’s Very Brief military career.

Content Warnings: Military, guns, hummingbirds, Profanity, Lots of Profanity, spectacular incompotence, catholicism mention, alcohol mention.

As usual, all names have been changed or redacted to protect people’s privacy.

In the fall of 1969, my Dad was hit by a car and suffered a serious concussion, causing him to miss midterms and put his grade in a hole he wouldn’t be able to recover from, as this was the days before a lot of professorial accountability. Like a sensible person, he decided to Withdraw for the semester and focus on recovering and maybe take a part-time job to pay for spring tuition, because you could do that back then.

“Son,” My grandfather asked, sitting on the couch with Dad shortly after he was discharged from the hospital. “What about your college deferment? I’m worried about you getting drafted.”

“Dad,” Dad said, filling in job applications. “I’m legally blind without my glasses! I’d be a danger to anyone around me with a gun. Even if I get drafted there’s no way in hell I’d pass the medical exam.”

“Don’t swear in my house.” Said Grandpa, under the entirely mistaken impression that the US Military was run with any sort of competence.

Literally a week later my Dad’s draft papers came in, and he reported to his local draft board, driver’s license and doctor’s note in hand to prove He Is Legally Blind Without His Glasses, only to be waved through without so much as a sideways glance by anyone resembling a doctor.

“They must be desperate.” My dad concluded when he got home that night to pack.

The news was devastating to the family, as both his parents had siblings to WWII. Grandpa was ready to beg, bribe and otherwise compromise his intensely catholic morals to get Dad out, and Grandma prayed to any available saint that would save her son from the fate of her brothers. She had quite the collection of saints in her sewing room, some forty figurines and dozens more candles and images, along with some stained glass she’d made herself of saints, landscapes and animals, including a large hummingbird that lived on the sewing room window since they’d moved into the house.

Dad pleaded with them to not do anything they’d regret, and returned to the base for basic training.

Dad’s drill sergeant was a man whose real name was “Ross” but insisted on being called “Bulldog” or “SIR!” by everyone depending on rank. Dad supposed this might have been a defense mechanism as Bulldog had an intensely jowled and acne-scarred face that did greatly resemble a fighting dog well past their prime. The image was not helped by the fact that he was constantly smoking rose-flavored tobacco in a pipe that had seen better centuries, and consequently smelled like a terrible combination of trailer park and the women’s perfume counter at Macy’s.

Bulldog was also… not great about following protocol, which is a terrible failing in a Drill sergeant, but Dad supposed at that point in the war Bulldog had become horribly depressed by the sheer numbers of young men he was sending to their deaths and had kind of stopped giving a fuck about their safety and his own.

Which lead to an incident about three weeks into Dad’s training camp when in the middle of a Weapons Qualification lesson, Bulldog pulled Dad’s glasses off and bellowed “YOU WON’T HAVE THOSE COKE BOTTLES WHEN THOSE [incorrect slurs, because there’s no such thing as an informed bigot] BLAST YOUR ASS TO KINGDOM COME.” before stomping off to go change the paper targets, leaving Dad standing there with an M-1, squinting in what he hoped was the general direction of the targets.

To give you an idea of HOW bad my dad’s vision is, I once asked him at what distance things got blurry, and he responded by taking off his glasses, putting his hand up to his face, and slowly moving it back. He stopped about eight inches from his face and nodded.

“So I can see my hand from here but I can’t distinguish my fingers. I think that green blob over there is your mother.”

“I’m in the living room.” called mom. “You’re looking at the blender.”

So it should come as no surprise that as soon as Dad heard someone shouting “Ready! Aim! Fire!” He did precisely that.

Hummingbirds are often mistakenly characterized as Delicate Little Rainbows that are a gift Direct from Heaven when the truth is they’re really Vicious Little Bastards thrown out of Hell for being too Nasty.

You would be too if you could eat nothing but frappuccinos and the occasional chicken nugget, everything around you was at least the size of a pickup truck and regarded you as a tasty snack, and you were forced to defend your fridge from not only equally vicious rivals but goddamn insects that are bigger than you are.

Being a hummingbird is awful under normal circumstances, and now there are maniacs with loud machines and projecties as big as you are stomping around and yelling and well-

At that exact moment, one of the nesting hummingbirds, having grown progressively more exasperated with the activity on the base, dive-bombed my father, hurling it’s tiny body directly into his ear and slicing the lobe up, and making him jerk slightly as he fired.

He missed Sergeant Bulldog by mere inches. Dad still isn’t sure if the Hummingbird caused him to miss or put him closer to accidental manslaughter, but it mattered little as Bulldog grabbed him by the head, shrieking in spittle-flying fury-

“ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?” He roared.

“YES!!” screamed my father, also hysterical. “SIR THAT’S WHAT THOSE ‘COKE BOTTLES’ ARE FOR SIR!”

Bulldog stopped, suddenly and uncomfortably confronted with the nature of causality. He only let it stymie him for a moment. “GET YOUR IDIOT ASS TO THE MEDIC, I’LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!”

At the medical center, an extremely befuddled doctor dilated Dad’s eyes, took pictures because Dad had the worst case of myopia he’d ever seen and wanted to put him in a medical journal, and asked him:

“What the HELL are you doing here?”

“Very nearly shooting people sir.”

“Well, we can’t have you shooting people while you’re in the army! I’ll get your medical discharge started.”

Dad decided not to comment on that statement, thanked the doctor, and wandered blindly back to his bunk.

It took them a full thirty days to process Dad’s discharge, perhaps largely due to the fact that actually FINDING the captain was a task for hercules- The man had an almost phobic aversion to his office and a tremendous love of whiskey so actually locating the man and early enough in the day that he was still sober enough to sign anything was a race against time and a battle against the wits of a man determined to get out of work, which is when humanity is at its peak intelligence.

In the meantime, it simply wouldn’t do to let dad bike the five miles back to his home and come back for the paperwork, nor let him sit quietly and not accidentally maim anyone, so he was put on garden duty.

Supervised by recently-suspended-from-instruction Sergeant “Bulldog” Ross.

By the second day Bulldog had mostly run out of steam, perhaps out of a sense of really, whose fault was that? So He would mostly stand in Dad’s general vicinity, waxing philosophical on the nature of war, government and whatever else he could be crotchety about that day while continuously smoking his rose-flavored tobacco in his pipe. Dad planted a frankly absurd number of flowers, trying to make a planted display that would spell out the name of the base in eight-foot letters, just in case someone has managed to miss all 824,594,359 signs beforehand.

On day five, perhaps attracted by the bright colors or the stench of artificial rose, the Hummingbirds found the new garden.

At first, it was timid little trips to the edge farthest from Dad and Bulldog, testing this new territory for both risk and bounty, but upon finding it full of sugary goodness, they became bold, getting closer and closer to Dad, zipping in as soon as he got up to get the next flat of flowers, then not waiting for him to finish planting them before they were up in his face, squeaking angrily for him to get out of the way of their lunch.

One male objected to Dad and Bulldog’s presence particularly strongly, dive-bombing and buzzing angrily at them, an ounce and a half of glittery impotent rage. After a month, he’d gotten quite aggressive, and one day flew directly up to Bulldog’s face to chitter curses at him eye-to-eye, only for Bulldog to take out his pipe and blow a cloud of smoke at him, laughing as the bird tumbled over backwards in midair.

Agitated with the sudden noxious cloud, or perhaps merely a violent psychopath in its own right, the bird flew back, then straight up into the air for a good fifty feet before going into a dive, aimed directly at Bulldog’s face.

Dad doesn’t recall actually moving, only a sense that he ought to do something, and launched himself out of the dirt, arms outstretched to clap and force it off course-

“SHIT! What the hell was that for?” Demanded Bulldog.

“Well, the hummingbird looked like it was going to attack you, Sir. So I stopped it.”

“How noble. What are you standing there like an idiot for?”

“…I think I caught it sir.” Said Dad, staring at the tiny bill poking out from between his gloves. The two of them leaned in close as dad very slowly opened his gloves and peered inside.

The hummingbird immediately forced it’s tiny head out to peep furious profanities at them both.

“How is it,” Bulldog wondered aloud as the hummer continued to curse the both of them for the next seven generations. “That you can’t see to hit the broad side of a barn but can pull a shitty little bird right out of the air?”

“I’m wearing my glasses, Sir.”

Bulldog looked up at him, glaring with such intensity his face ceased to be a face at all and transformed into a dali-esque collection of wrinkles.

“Fuck you. Now go take that damn thing to the other side of the base so it doesn’t come back.”

“Yes sir.” Dad nodded, nearly saluting out of reflex before remembering that he was holding a live and very angry bird. It took him several hours to get to the other side of the base, with literally everyone stopping to ask him what the hell he was doing, well I have this bird sir and I was told to release it on the other side of the base- how in hell did your blind ass catch a hummingbird, well I had my glasses on- Fuck you, go ditch that thing already.

At three o'clock on the dot the very next morning, two MPs woke up my dad and told him he needed to report to the front office right away, no time to get dressed, right away right now.

They marched him directly to the main office, barefoot and in his Pajamas to be greeted by not only Sergeant “Bulldog” ross, but nearly every officer on the base, including the lieutenant and the Captain, all of whom were… attempting to stand at attention with varying degrees of success, most weaving slightly, some snorting with poorly-concealed laughter, and the entire room reeking of booze.

“GENTLEMEN!” hiccuped the lieutenant, before shaking himself and continuing, “WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO HONOR OUR ‘COMRADE’ -snort, giggle- IN ARMS -louder derisive laughter- FOR HIS BRAVERY AND SERVICE IN THE FACE OF EXTREME DANGER-”

“IN THE BEAK OF EXTREME DANGER!” Howled one of the assembled officers.

“-AND FOR HIS SERVICE IN DEFENDING AN OFFICER OF THE UNITED STATES ARMY. I AM ~SO~ PLEASED THAT WE HAVE CAPTAIN [REDACTED] HERE WITH US TO PRESENT THIS MEDAL.”

He turned to the Captain, who took out a small box and motioned Dad forward. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a chocolate box from See’s Candies.

“[REDACTED], in honor of your brave and frankly improbable service in the defense of Euge- sorry, Sergeant Ross, and the capture of a dangerous wild animal, we award you this medal- The Flying Purple Bastard.”

He opened the chocolate box to reveal this*:

(Image Description: A piece of cardboard cut out approximately in the silhouette of a hummingbird, by someone with only a passing familiarity with what hummingbirds look like. The cardboard has been haphazardly covered in tinfoil and cartoon eyes drawn on. It’s attached to a scrap of ribbon and a safety Pin.)

Which was then pinned crookedly to Dad’s nightshirt, after accidentally stabbing him a bit, saluted him as someone attempted to play the bugle but made a rather melodious farting noise instead, then slapped Dad in the face with a manilla folder full of papers and shouted. “DISMISSED!”

“Dismissed, sir?”

“Those are your discharge papers.” Said Bulldog. “Get the fuck out of here.”

“Yes, Sir!”

At which point Dad biked home in the rain, and thus ends my father’s military career.

*Pictured here is actually The Flying Purple Bastard 2.0, as the original was destroyed when partially eaten and fully regurgitated by one of the cats.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Paypal, as due to health concerns, telling funny stories on the internet is my ONLY means of income. Thank you!

(You can find the original post containing this story here.)

If you want more stories like this, check out this introductory post or the blog's Family Lore tag. And apparently, all that stuff will be going into a book someday... EDIT: Said book is now available for preorder on their Patreon.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-05-18 05:01:57 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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^ Your post got me curious, so I searched the internet a bit.... it turns out there are actually a lot of holidays in December. (Yesterday was National Cookie Day, dang I wish I'd known)

Jul Advent calendar for December 5:

corruptionasart.tumblr.com is a blog full of video game corruptions. Some are quite striking and artistic, while others are hilarious or terrifying (or both!).

Please beware of images with rapidly flashing lights if you visit the blog and are sensitive to such images. (The blog tags posts with "extreme flashing" so you can hide them with something like Tumblr Savior).

If you like these, feel free to check out the blog for more.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-05-18 05:11:47 PM, in Hello

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Not much, I just posted something. And now I think I'm gonna make some cookies. You?

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Posted on 12-06-18 11:54:26 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 6:

Yesterday I made some Power Cookies using this recipe. The cookies are very hearty and healthy, containing oats, fruit, nuts, and... beans! They don't even contain butter or oil, and for those with dietary restrictions, they don't contain any wheat, milk, or eggs.

Instead of following the recipe directly, I put all the dry ingredients in a half-gallon mason jar a week ago. Having a jar of pre-made mix on hand made it much easier to make the cookies when I got a craving.

To make the mix, put in a half-gallon mason jar and shake until thoroughly mixed:
- 4 cups oats, ground (you can grind up oatmeal for this)
- 1 cup total dried fruit pieces (just 1/2 cup will work too.)
- 1 cup total nuts (just 1/2 cup will work too.)
- 1/2 cup each white & brown sugar (I like less sweet stuff, so next time I'll do 1/3 cup each, but that's just me)
- 1 tsp each baking powder, baking soda, & cinnamon

(Need ideas for fruit or nuts? You can use raisins, chopped prunes, dried apples, dried figs, etc. And for nuts, you can use chopped almonds, sunflower seeds, walnuts, pecans... and I guess peanuts, though I've never tried them here.)

Then to use the mix, add:
- 1 can (15 oz) cannellini beans, drained, rinsed, and mashed (I've also used other beans before, e.g. red kidney beans)
- (1 tsp vanilla extract) (i.e. add it if you have it, don't worry if you don't)
- Then, if the dough is still too crumbly, add enough water to make the dough sticky enough to form a ball
Bake at 325°F for 10-15 minutes (15 minutes worked for me)

Here I mashed up the cannellini beans and mixed in 1 tsp vanilla. An unmashed bean here and there won't hurt anything, in fact it'll add a bit more texture to the cookies.

Here I dumped in my jar of pre-made mix and mixed it with my hands. The dough was way too crumbly (not enough wet ingredients to make the dough sticky), so I added a bit of water-- enough to make the dough hold together in a ball without falling apart.

Then I:
- set the oven to 325°F
- formed the dough into cookies with an ice cream scoop, another spoon, and my hands (it was enough dough to take up 2 cookie sheets)
- baked them for about 15 minutes. If unsure, keep checking until the edges just start to turn brown, then give them a few more minutes.
- Let them cool! This is important, and not just to keep from burning yourself--the cookies are weak and crumbly right out of the oven, but they solidify as they cool.

Verdict: A little too sweet for me (which means they're fine for most people), but good nonetheless. Very hearty! I've eaten like 1/3 of the batch already.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-07-18 04:10:23 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 7:

In which I find a note left behind by my grandmother. (This isn't an obituary, don't worry)

In my family, my grandmother on my father's side has always been a pillar of strength and certainty. My cousin joked that if we were an organized crime family, my grandmother would be like the head matriarch running the operation.

When my grandmother was younger, she:
- traveled all over the world with her kids
- ran for and served on the school board multiple times, and she visited schools to see what things were really like (when other school board members weren't)
- once, a girl knocked on her door late at night and asked to use the phone so she could call home. The girl's mother arrived to pick her up and was furious that she was out so late. So my grandmother told the mother, in no uncertain terms, that she should be grateful her daughter called for a ride home instead of trying to avoid a scolding by getting a ride from a stranger.

In her older years when I knew her, she:
- played a big role in my upbringing, babysitting my siblings and me every week and taking us to movies, museums, community events, and trips out-of-state
- did handmade Christmas gifts and candy for tons of people every year
- volunteered at various places, including the library and community events
- continued to travel all over the world
- continued to keep up on politics; until she moved away, she was my trusted source of information on local politics

All my life, my grandmother has lived near my home. But this year, knowing the time was coming, she took initiative and started visiting assisted living facilities so she'd be ready. Well, the first one she visited, she it liked so much that she decided to move there right away.

Sadly, there are things she can't do anymore now that she has moved, like the large-scale handmade Christmas stuff. Even now, she:
- immediately joined a book club and continues to read tons of books
- organizes a biannual family reunion, something for which I am incredibly grateful
- curses and swears viciously when her computer gives her trouble (I'm her remote tech support agent!)

When it came time for my grandmother to move away, there wasn't much room at her new home, so she took what she wanted and left the rest to be sold or disposed of. Emptying out the house was a massive effort, full of old memories.

During this undertaking, while I was cleaning out some drawers in her work room, I came across this slip of paper:

RESILENCE
1. Develop a core set of beliefs that nothing can shake.
2. Try to find meaning in whatever stressful or traumatic thing has happened.
3. Try to maintain a positive outlook.
4. Take cues from someone who is especially resilient.
5. Don't run from things that scare you; face them.
6. Be quick to reach out for support when things go haywire.
7. Learn new things as often as you can.
8. Find an exercise regimen you'll stick to.
9. Don't beat yourself up or dwell on the past.
10. Recognize what makes you strong-- and own it.
TIME June 1, 2015

This looks to have been written down from a TIME Magazine article in 2015. It was 3 years ago, so as I recall it was a time when she was going through a lot of stress and trouble.

When you're a kid, the adults in your life seem invincible. As I've gotten older, I've seen my grandmother tired and frustrated as she dealt with the stress of declining health, constantly changing technology, continual basement flooding, and a rather shitty rich neighbor. But I've always known her as someone who has her shit together, and that hasn't changed. (And hopefully, her move to assisted living has alleviated much of that stress.)

I want to be resilient like my grandmother. I don't know if it's something I can manage, so honestly it was kind of a relief to find this list and realize she struggles with it too, and that keeping up resilience harder than it looks.

So, where does that leave me? Well, I've got a list, and there's a bunch of stuff on it I'm not sure about, but I've got a bunch of people in my life I can ask about it. Time for me to get crackin'.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-07-18 05:57:36 PM, in New stuff you got

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I just received an early Christmas present from my mother-- she got me one of those light therapy lamps for Seasonal Affective Disorder. (I'd done some research and asked her to get me the recommended model from this big ol' comparison article.)

How's it? Well, I just started using it like 10 minutes ago, and they say it can take a few days for results to appear, so who knows. The angle and height adjustment is pretty good-- I'm using it right now while typing away on my laptop. And it's bright-- I had to turn up the brightness on my laptop so it wouldn't get drowned out.

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Posted on 12-08-18 03:34:56 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 8:

aiweirdness.com is a blog that shows what happens when you train a neural network to come up with new... well...

Candy Heart messages

Dungeons and Dragons creatures

Guinea Pig names, which were actually used to name guinea pigs at the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue

Snake species

The blog has all sorts of things generated by neural networks, from metal band names to nail polish colors to completely insane-looking knitting patterns.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-09-18 06:38:50 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 9:

Continuing the webcomics suggestions from before, here are some more I really like:

Digger

Fauna Fairest

Harpy Gee

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

(P.S. BatElite, check your private messages, and thank you!

)

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Posted on 12-10-18 11:47:54 AM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-10-18 11:49:45 AM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 10:

i'm too lazy to write much today... Hannukah ends today at sundown so i'm just gonna put up hannukah shitposts i found

(source)

(source)
apparently weed is actually kosher, according to my 5-second internet search anyway

yeah it's a passover song but the title/chorus applies to pretty much every Jewish holiday
(edit: damn I just noticed the guy's shirt design)

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-11-18 02:56:23 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 11:

Today is... my day off from posting! Sort of. I built up a queue of posts last week, but it ran out and I still have various Real Life obligations taking my time, so I'm.... um, maybe I'll be able to rebuild my queue and keep posting, or maybe I'll have to lay off the posting for a while. We'll see~

In the meantime, major props to BatElite for drawing and submitting a festive Jul squid for the occasion!
It wriggles gently, so as not to have the baubles fall off.

It wriggles gently, so as not to have the baubles fall off.

(imgur mirror in case postimage goes down)

Ikachan the squid and Jul wish you all happy holidays. This is probably isn't the most graceful way to say this, but thank you all for making Jul a cozy place where people post and read stuff.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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Posted on 12-13-18 02:58:31 AM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-13-18 02:59:00 AM)

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^ Thank you both for your kind comments! It's really nice to hear back from people reading the thread.

Jul Advent calendar for December 12:

I like to fold origami! Well, I don't like having to deal afterwards with the things I made (what do I do with them?), but people seem to like receiving them as gifts, so it works out for both of us!

Some ornaments and festive Santa hats I made and gave out as gifts this year.
(Santa cap instructions, ornament instructions)

Also... Who's that Pokemon?

It's... Peek-a-chu!

This is going to be a gift to my therapist's 7-year-old son--a tremendous fan of Pokemon like 2 decades(!) after I first discovered the joys of Gen 1.
(Cube-pikachu instructions here, and I was inspired by this photo to make the Pokeball from these box halves.)

The internet is a godsend for anyone in search of origami instructions. My go-to resource is Origami Resource Center, which gathers links to origami designs around the internet, grouped by categories like animals, boxes, etc. (No Pokemon designs on that site, a quick internet search for "pokemon origami" will rectify that.)

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-13-18 10:53:41 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 13:

Searching for holiday cards to send to your loved ones? Look no futher!

(source)

(source)

There's more! You can also this guy's older Christmas cards here and here.

These cards are by Darren M. A. Calvert, the same artist who drew up a bunch of Canadian Pokemon.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-14-18 04:44:46 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-14-18 04:47:36 PM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 14:

Including today, it's 12 days until Christmas, can you believe it? You know what that means—today is the first of the Twelve Days of Chri... no wait, I'm dumb. The Twelve Days of Christmas begin on Christmas and continue for 11 more days afterward. I can't be the only one who's made this mistake... right?

Well, whatever, I'm gonna post this anyway. No one can stop me from posting the... Twelve Days of... whatever this is.

A description of the music for those who prefer text:

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-15-18 04:58:33 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-15-18 05:08:41 PM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 15:

I vaguely remember my introductions to computers (Macs in elementary school) and the internet (Hampsterdance on dialup). But I don't really remember when or how I was introduced to Wi-Fi. It just kind of slowly crept into existence and invaded our coffee shops until one day, it had retroactively always been there, I guess? Or maybe my memory just sucks, who knows.

Anyway, Wi-Fi continues to creep into existence with new versions coming out every so often. Surprise surprise, there's a new version coming out soon, sometime next year. It's called 802.11ax or Wi-Fi 6 and—you know what, maybe I should just start from the beginning.

(Or if you want, you can skip this and go directly to Some questions you may have about 802.11ax)
This is a table of wireless networking standards from past to present. Each standard is a set of rules for manufacturers to follow when making wireless stuff. Why make a standard? So different wireless products made by different manufacturers can understand each other.

Old name	New name	Year	Theoretical max speed	Bands	Example devices	Notes
802.11 (legacy mode)	n/a	1997	1Mbps or 2Mbps	2.4GHz (or infrared, lol)	Not much...	This initial attempt, sort of a "beta" I guess, was vague and open-ended so manufacturers made their own decisions... resulting in products that could barely communicate with other manufacturers's products, if at all.
802.11b	Wi‑Fi 1*	1999	11Mbps	2.4GHz	Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable	802.11b was cheaper and more common than 802.11a
802.11a	Wi‑Fi 2*	1999	54Mbps	5GHz	business stuff	- 802.11a was less common than 802.11b despite being faster. - Not compatible with 802.11b. - Some routers are dual-band, serving both a and b.
802.11g	Wi‑Fi 3*	2003	54Mbps	2.4GHz	Nintendo DSi/3DS/Wii, PlayStation 3	- 802.11g is backwards compatible with 802.11b. - Some routers are dual-band and so can also serve 802.11a.
802.11n	Wi‑Fi 4	2009	600Mbps	2.4GHz and 5GHz	Nintendo Wii U, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360/One	- 802.11n is backwards compatible with 802.11a/b/g. - Only dual-band routers have both 2.4GHz and 5GHz; the rest are single-band (i.e. only 2.4GHz), which are are slower and can't serve 802.11a. - Some companies sold "draft 802.11n" products before the standard was finalized.
802.11ac	Wi‑Fi 5	2013	3.46Gbps	5GHz	Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4 Slim/Pro	- 802.11ac is backwards compatible with 802.11a/n. - Dual-band or tri-band routers can serve 802.11b/g as well. - Some companies sold "draft 802.11ac" products before the standard was finalized.
802.11ax	Wi‑Fi 6	Est. 2019	10.53Gbps	2.4GHz and 5GHz	none yet	- 802.11ax will improve performance in places with crowded Wi-Fi traffic. - I can't find anything about single-band ax routers... does that mean they'll all be dual-band or higher? If so, that means it'll be backwards compatible with 802.11a/b/g/n/ac. - Some companies are already selling "draft 802.11ax" products before the standard has been finalized.

*Unofficial names

Some notes about the numbers above:
- Theoretical max speed is... kind of bullshit, there's all sorts of reasons you won't get that fast in real life. Also, the lowercase b in Mbps/Gbps means bits—divide by 8 to get megabytes or gigabytes.
- Frequency is... either 2.4 GHz, the crowded one where your Wi-Fi competes with other wireless devices; or 5 GHz, which has less interference, and also a higher theoretical maximum speed at the expense of range. Single-band routers can only do one frequency, while dual-band and tri-band routers can do both.

Some questions you may have about 802.11ax:

Do I HAVE to get a new phone/laptop when 802.11ax comes out?
- No. Just like when previous wireless versions came out, your old stuff should work fine as-is.

Will it make my home internet faster?
- The thing is, chances are even the old 802.11g already goes faster than your home internet connection. At that point, making wireless faster to improve your internet is like raising the highway speed limit from 500mph to 1000mph when cars can't even go 200mph.
- So probably not, unless you've got like a zillion devices trying to use Wi-Fi at once.

Wait, so what's the point?
- Where it WILL help a lot is in really crowded places like coffee shops and stadiums... where you don't have any control over whether they upgrade their routers or not. Boo.
- Also, consider local network speed. Devices on the local network will be able to transfer data between them MUCH faster. This is good for doing local backups over wireless, or for streaming video from one local device to another. (However, note that the current 802.11ac is already pretty damn fast for this purpose.)

Will my current computer/phone/other device be able to get the faster 802.11ax speeds and performance?
- No. Right now, no devices support the new speeds. In the future, if you want the better performance, you'll have to upgrade your computer's wireless card or get a new computer/phone. Even then, it'll only be faster when connected to a 802.11ax router.

So, are you going to buy any 802.11ax stuff?
- Well, when it comes to devices like phones and laptops, I won't have much choice—I won't go out of my way to get it, but eventually that stuff will take over the market.
- As for buying a 802.11ax router for my home... my Wi-Fi traffic isn't crowded enough to benefit in terms of internet speed. But if I decide to set up a wireless backup storage system, or if I start streaming games on my PC to my iPad, I'll think about it.

Bonus:
So the table I posted goes through 802.11a, b, g, and n, then hits the end of the alphabet and wraps back around to ac and ax. What's up with all the skipped letters? Well, those letters were used for other stuff I won't be covering here. See the section "Wi-Fi Alphabet Soup" on this page.

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-16-18 11:06:28 PM, in Jul Advent Calendar

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Jul Advent calendar for December 16:

I need a break, so you know what it's time for. That's right, more Christmas squids!

(source)

(source: SpongeBob SquarePants - episode "Christmas Who?")

(source)

(source: Splatoon - December 19, 2015 Splatfest in North America)

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

BoringPerson
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Posted on 12-18-18 02:45:52 AM, in Jul Advent Calendar (last edited by BoringPerson at 12-19-18 03:35:49 AM)

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Jul Advent calendar for December 17:

Just weird ~~stupid~~ surreal stuff I like to watch when my life feels too normal.

Let's Go! TAMAGOTCHI - episode 4
This is how I wake up every morning.

The Bad Trade by RubberFruit
I would totally play Team Fortress 2 if the game were like this. (The channel has lots more.)

Skate 3 Funny Stuff Compilation #8 by HelixSnake
(WARNING: Occasional flashing lights, lots of unintentionally extreme cartoon violence from abusing the physics/ragdoll engine.)
Skate 3 is not an especially buggy game... unless HelixSnake is playing it. (The channel has lots more.)

Sesame Street Corruptions by Vinny [Vinesauce]
As if game glitches weren't enough, some people like to randomly corrupt bytes in a game until the whole thing implodes. (The channel has lots more.)

Green Greens Fusion Collab by SiIvaGunner
(NSFW WARNING: Occasional swearing in the lyrics.)
Oh look, a nice Kirby fusion remix! Oh... wait. (The channel has lots more.) You can find the original (safe-for-work) song here.

Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion
(NSFW WARNING: There's a bare butt near the end.)
This happened to two Chicago TV stations on November 22, 1987. See the Wikipedia article for all the explanation you're going to get. There's also a slowed-down audio analysis with subtitles.

Big Bill Hell's Cars
(NSFW WARNING: Lots of blatant, ridiculous swearing! And it pops up onscreen as text, too. For the love of god, don't watch this at work!)
Have you ever heard a used car commercial and thought, "God, those announcers yell at us like they think we're total morons"? I'll quote from the video description:
"Someone made this commercial in Maryland back in the 80's. Before YouTube, we actually copied stupid videos like this onto VHS tapes and traded them around. We were idiots."

Check back tomorrow for another day of the Jul Advent Calendar!

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