Jul -- Projects and Creations: Lost Meridian (Current- 1.3: The Gears of War / IP- 1.4: ...Are turning once more)

Cirvante
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Posted on 10-17-07 08:54:56 PM (last edited by Cirvante at 05-08-09 10:45 PM)

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This is what I've been working on for the past few days. The idea originated from a series of dreams, which I then proceeded to relate to each other, and eventually, build a story around it. It's still in its very early stages (only chapter 01 is done), but I plan to make this a full-fledged novel of sorts. Why did I post it here? Because I don't want the "omg awsome" or "u suck" comments pouring in just yet; I want to get actual constructive criticism (I'm especially interested in Hiryuu's comments) before I release it for the general public to see. That, and Chat a la Awesome is too un-serious for this EDIT- 05/08/2009: Decided to redo a few things here and there, namely changing the chapter format. Each arc is a Stage, and each stage is divided into different chapters numbered .1, .2, etcetera. Prologue The year is 2312. The Society for Human Improvement of Nations, a former non-profit international aid and research organization turned world police. Its iron-fisted rule and draconian repressive policies have ignited an everlasting war for freedom. People were abducted and forced to live in BLOCKs, orbital slums for the “relocated” civilians. The world’s nations met with little success in repelling the ongoing assault, and one by one they fell. By the turn of the century, the SHION dominated the entire Eastern Hemisphere, and slowly began its advance on the west... But where there is oppression, there will always be heroes to combat it. From the ashes of the former nations rose the Meridian, a resistance army comprised by members of a myriad of subjugated nations. For years, they fought the SHION and were battered down, only to rise up with doubled strength. Under the command of Austrian commander Suzanne von Meister, the Meridian gained a much-needed morale boost. Her stern and fearless personality led them to victory after victory 23 September 2302. Under the codename of Operation Troia, the Meridian fought their toughest battle yet. Their objective was to take down the SHION’s satellite weapon, the HELIOS-01, and their leader, Dr. Alistair Stiles. After an all-fronts siege that lasted 49 days, the resistance succeeded. von Meister, however, disappeared after the confrontation with Doctor Stiles, who was possessed by his lust for ultimate power. All that could be seen was the HELIOS falling and exploding upon re-entry. Both factions, now without a leader, agreed to a cease-fire, and for the next decade, the world saw an uneasy peace, shaken by guerrilla attacks here and there. All the while, they regrouped and garnered strength, and the gears of war began to turn once again... Stage 1: The Rosario Campaign June 2312. An ancient artifact of immense power lies hidden amongst the rolling hills of the quiet mountain town of Rosario, Puerto Rico. As it waits for the chosen one to hear its call, the SHION prepares to mount an all-out invasion on the island, intent on claiming the sacred weapon for their own purpose. At the center of this crisis is a young man who has yet to realize his destiny, not knowing he bears the weight of the world on his shoulders… Stage 1.1:_________________ Not Just a Dream ---------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Monte Estrella, Rosario, Puerto Rico 19:16 GMT -4 ---------------------------------------- Rosario. A small city located in the southwestern area of the island, split up from its metropolis, San Germán, over two centuries ago. The hills of Monte Estrella overlook the city, almost as if they were shielding it from harm’s way. It is a bright, starry night outside. The city lights form a beautiful landscape, like thousands of firebugs on procession. A soft breeze blows through the trees in an almost foreboding manner. A tall-ish boy with a pensive-looking face can be seen walking through the fields. He is wearing baggy jeans slightly bigger than his waist size and a navy blue shirt with an abstract pattern. The boy is Arturo Luna Morrison. Having grown up during countless battles, he has grown unattached and slightly weary of life. Arturo stared down towards the city, then shifted his gaze up towards the stars. -“I wonder what it would be like if all this never happened...”, he said in a defeat-like tone, “I really need to clear my head.” -“It’s kinda cold out tonight...” He tripped on an object hidden in the grass and fell flat on the ground. -“Fucking... ow! What the... huh? What’s this?”, Arturo said with a curious look on his face as he grabbed the object which made him trip. It was some sort of spear, nine feet in length. It had a five-pronged tip, covered in dry blood. It had definitely seen many battles, he thought. -“A... spear? Man, this thing must be ancient. Nobody even uses these to fight anymore-- Ugh!” Everything went black. Arturo lay unconscious in the grass, still holding the spear in his hand. Meanwhile, a voice calls out to him... -“Oh great. Another emo one. Why can’t I get someone, y’know, less wrong in the head?” Arturo seemed to twitch in an attempt to gain consciousness. -“Oy! Wake up! Lazy arse...”, the voice said, slightly irritated. -“...nngh? What...?”, Arturo said, evidently still dazed. As he opened his eyes, an endless view of white space emerged. Wherever he was, it looked completely empty, except for the figure standing right in front of him. It was looking down at Arturo, his eyes showing a particularly cynical expression. -“...What the Christ?! Who are you, and where the heck am I?”, he said, the shock at his current situation getting the better of him. -“Jesus, finally! Thought you were dead or something...” the figure said sarcastically. Arturo took a closer look to the human silhouette standing above him. It had deep purple eyes; swirly dark hair to shoulder length, a whitish-purple halo, and a pair of angel wings, though not white; rather a light gray of sorts. The typical image of a fallen angel, he stood there, smiling, with a curious look on his face. -“So, are you going to get up, or are you just going to lay around all night?”, the angel said, laughing. Arturo regained his composure, and got up rather sluggishly; he was aching all over, as if he woke up from a very long sleep and his joints had fallen into disuse. -“You still haven’t answered me, whatever you are,” Arturo said with a trace of hostility. -“Well?” The fallen angel’s expression suddenly gained in seriousness. -“Of course, how rude of me. My name is Cirvante. I am the guardian of the Lance of Longinus, the holy spear. Your body is still unconscious where you fell, don’t worry.” -“The Lance of Longinus? But wasn’t that just a biblical legend?” -“Not quite. The Lance is very real, I assure you. You’re holding it right now, in fact. If it weren’t real, why would I be talking to you right now?” -“But what does it mean--?” -“It means the world is in danger. Some of the stronger Aleph are growing self-conscious; some actually began to rebel against their hosts... Worst of all, it seems the SHION has figured it out as well and are trying to use it to their advantage.” -“Aleph…?”, Arturo said, intrigued and worried at the same time. -“Surely you’ve heard about all those freak accidents, yes? Tsunamis hitting in land-locked towns, blizzards in tropical areas, objects moving on its own... And in every one of these cases, people start disappearing shortly afterwards.” -“You don’t mean...!” Cirvante nodded his head. -“To the SHION, Aleph are just another military weapon to further their goals. I do not think they know what they’re dealing with, however... Time after time, they have attempted to control their powers. Each time they failed, and the consequences were dire.” -“But… You haven’t really explained much, just what are these Aleph, anyway?” Cirvante sighed. He was used to over-enquiring people before, but this one took the cake. -“The Aleph are spiritual manifestations of the Creator’s power. They cannot roam freely, however, and are bound to different objects found in nature. A tree, a rock, a weapon, even an alarm clock; anything can be a suitable habitat for an Aleph. When a human touches an object inhabited by an Aleph, he or she gains its power, as well as the soul of the Aleph itself. The two are then bound until death, when the Aleph inhabits the last object of significance its human host touched.” Arturo raised an eyebrow. -“So, if I’m hearing this straight, you’re saying you’ll be stuck in my head until I die? That’s fucked up, man.” -“Pretty much.”, Cirvante said, regaining his usual wit. Arturo just stood there, giving a blank stare. Poor guy had swallowed too much information all at once, it seems. -“Uh... you okay there, kid?” -“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. This is probably all just a sick dream anyway. I’ll wake up soon.” Cirvante chuckled. -“If I had a body for every time I heard that... Oh wait, I did. Hah hah hah!” “Oh geez. This guy is fucking loco!”, Arturo though to himself, hoping to God he would wake up soon. -“So, now what? What am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to go save the world or something?”, Arturo said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. -“Hah hah! You’re a funny one, aren’t you?”, Cirvante said, laughing. “That, I’m afraid, you must find out on your own, Arturo. Don’t worry, kid. You’ll be fine.” Suddenly, muffled explosions could be heard. The ground started rumbling beneath their feet. -“ I believe that’s your cue to wake up, kid. Later!” Cirvante vanished, and the whole bright white along with him. Suddenly, Arturo was back laying face-up in the grass, struggling to wake up from what he thought was a dream. The muffled sounds of gunfire were getting louder; the smell of explosives filled the air. There were voices screaming everywhere, some louder than others. Arturo then realized one of the voices was nearly screaming in his ear. -“...spierta, chico!... Leván... e!” The voices got more recognizable now. The gunshots and explosions were getting clearer. Arturo was sitting on the grass, clinching his head in pain. -“Whuh....? What’s going...on?” Arturo gasped as he looked at the landscape. Explosions and muzzle flashes everywhere; the ruins of collapsed buildings blocked the roads. The screams of innocent civilians being driven from their homes and shot formed an orchestra of despair as one by one they collapsed on the cold ground, the life drained out of their eyes. The battle had begun. ____________________

Hiryuu

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Posted on 10-26-07 11:56:17 PM; last edit by Komachi Onozuka on 10-27-07 12:00 AM

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Machi-Machi v. Kyan!

Sorry it took so long to get around to looking at it.

Actually, this is a pretty good start but it's more or less a mix of good and somewhat icky. I'll explain with the icky first and get that out of the way:

I can get where you're going with the chapter that was just written but I can't help but think that some of it was forced - as if you didn't know what to write. Let's take this paragraph...

A tall-ish boy with a pensive-looking face can be seen walking through the fields. He is wearing baggy jeans slightly bigger than his waist size and a navy blue shirt with an abstract pattern. The boy is Arturo Luna Morrison. Having grown up during countless battles, he has grown unattached and slightly weary of life.

I see a few problems with this. Tall-ish? He either is or he ain't.

I don't see it being compared to 'the average joe' but I assume that's where you're going with it. Tall boy works a lot better and isn't leaving the person open to surprises such as 'tall as compared to a giant building'. 'Unattached' gets replaced with 'detached', as the flow's a bit better and detached is used more in this mindset. Apathetic, uncaring, etc. Good thing to have sometimes is the Thesaurus in Word...I get used to using it a lot and if you're really hardcore just grab Roget's. Consistency in word use OVER AND OVER again is something I don't do if I can get away with it but that's another tangent that this doesn't fail in. The last thing I can figure is that comparing this to other paragraphs, you tend to juggle the present and past tense a lot. With the way you write, it may just be easier to write in the past tense, as it alleviates whether it's happening RIGHT THIS SECOND or if you're dictating the events as they have transpired and considering we're dealing with something that's clearly marked by a timeline (see start of chapter) past works good here.

A few other paragraphs are like this and there are some points of dialogue that seem forced; particularly Cirvante vs. Arturo in terms of discussing the Aleph. Sure it's good back-and-forth but it doesn't feel natural unless Arturo is really quick on the pickup.

Picking at a topic:

-“The Lance of Longinus? But wasn’t that just a biblical legend?”

-“Not quite. The Lance is very real, I assure you. It is that very lance you hold in your hands. If it weren’t real, why would I be talking to you right now?”

-“But what does it mean--?”

-“It means the world is in danger. Some of the stronger Aleph are growing self-conscious; some actually rebel against their hosts... Worst of all, it seems the SHION has realized this as well, and is using it to their advantage.”

-“What are these ‘Aleph’, and why is the SHION after them?”, Arturo said, intrigued and worried at the same time.

-“Surely you’ve heard about the mysterious disappearances following freak accidents, yes? Tsunamis hitting in land-locked towns, blizzards in tropical areas, objects moving on its own... And in every one of these cases, people are silently abducted afterwards.”

-“Yeah, they were all over the news...”

Second line I could answer with 'durrrrp, cuz I had one too many?'. Either Cirv's really full of himself, as I imagine, or he's not very sharp or thinks his form precedes himself by the fact that everyone knows him just by saying LOOK AT ME I'M GOD! AS TOLD BY THE SIZE OF HATS IN CATHOLIC FAITH LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY SOMBRERO! WHO ELSE WOULD I BE?! :\

Line five, in which Arturo is asking 'What are the Aleph?, etc.' can be condensed down to a solid one-word question: 'Aleph?'. The reason for the condense is because I would assume Arturo has no clue what the Aleph are and does have an idea of SHION (in fact, VERY sure). It also states that he's more interested in a 'wtf is that?' and it's a lot more natural that way. The other way around that you have it sounds a little forced and already too-knowing, for some reason. You don't necessary have to overdo it to get a point across. Acting as if this was really happening helps a ton.

The straight-out f's in the lingo felt kinda forced too, but then maybe that's how you swing.

Okay, kicking the ickies to the side...the rest of this has a decent premise. I can guess where you're going from it in terms of a 'realization of power from an oldbie' perspective and I think that if you do this right, with what you've attempted to build from the prologue, this might turn out interesting. Some of the chat, that I attacked, is actually pretty smooth. I actually chuckled a few times in that it felt like there was some feeling conveyed instead of some ZARB BLAND TEXT RRRGGG to get a point across. Though I have a feeling this will likely be a serious-type story, you can definitely afford yourself some humor in the expense of it at times. It loosens up the reader and I CONSTANTLY suffer from being too over-dramatic at times, for instance. As long as you can keep that trend together, you should be fine.

All told, not bad for a start. Not bad at all. But you can probably do some work on the structure as I've said and work on the flow of the dialogue a little bit more. If nothing else, a second or third chapter might help expand on that a little bit. You won't know until you write it (I didn't and here I am at chapter 21 :\).

EDIT: Derpa = Drama

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 01-18-08 11:58:24 PM (last edited by Cirvante at 05-08-09 10:47 PM)

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OOC: That took longer than expected. Would an admin please edit the topic title accordingly? Stage 1.2:_________________ Epiphany ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Plaza de Santa María, Rosario, Puerto Rico 20:04 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- Several groups of civilians were attempting to flee the city by any means possible in hopes of escaping the bloody wrath that had unsuspectingly come above them. The sound of a civilian transport exploding nearby only served to further increase their fears as rounds were fired everywhere, mostly at innocent people and the occasional armed rebels. Downtown Rosario was in ruins. Most of the buildings were heavily damaged by gunfire, and those that were not had long been abandoned. Some structures had gaping holes which caused them to promptly collapse upon themselves. The scene looked like something straight out of a post-WW2 picture. Meanwhile, several transports were running through the city, blaring out the official capture message, declaring SHION supremacy over the defenseless citizens. <”This city is now under the control of the Society for Human Improvement of Nations. All citizens are to report to the town centre for relocation. If an officer comes to your house or approaches you in the streets, do not make any attempts to resist.”> <”Esta ciudad está bajo el control de las fuerzas de la Sociedad para el Mejoramiento Humano de las Naciones. Todos los ciudadanos deberán reportarse a la plaza central para su reubicación. Si un oficial viene a su puerta o se le acerca en la calle, no intente resistir.”> Two SHION officers could be seen leading the march into the city outskirts. Both of them were piloting ten-foot-tall humanoid mechs. -“Sir, are you sure the Longinus is here?” -“Affirmative, Captain. The reports we got from Intel division all point to the target being somewhere near the mountains. Your orders are to advance to the hills, and capture the target. I and the rest of our units will stay here to suppress any rebellious intents. You are authorized to relocate the mountain inhabitants as you see fit.” -“Understood, sir. All units, move out!” The SHION convoy split into two groups: Captain Sachs’ unit was headed out to the higher grounds, while General Grübach’s soldiers continued to wipe out any resistance left in the city. The remaining citizens were being captured and sent to the town center by the truckload. ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Monte Estrella, Rosario, Puerto Rico 20:11 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- Arturo woke up from his ‘dream’ and was now sitting on the grass, still somewhat stunned. Somehow, deep inside, he knew that wasn’t just a dream... Standing beside him was his father. His expression at the moment was a combination of shock, worry and relief all at once. -“Papá! What’s happened here? Why’s everyone running?”, Arturo said, confusedly. “It’s the SHION! They’ve taken over the city! We must flee to the shelter, mijo!”, said Diego, his father, still beside himself at the fact his son was laying around in the middle of open warfare, “Come on, chico! Get up! Let’s go, vamos--!” A nearby explosion caused them both to flinch for about a second. The soldiers had marched into the suburbs, and were already making their way to the hilltops, leaving a path of destruction behind. -“But where are we going, Papá--? Arturo was promptly interrupted by another explosion just a few feet away from where he was standing, causing him to fall flat on his rear. “No hay tiempo, chico!, Vamos, vamos!” Diego grabbed his son by the wrist and started running towards a convoy of trucks about half a mile down the hill. “There! That’s where we’re going, son! That’s our ticket out of here!” The soldiers moved as one, unrelenting, a mass of cold-hearted killing machines that would stop at nothing to achieve their mission. All who got in their way were brutally massacred, even women and children, and those who managed to escape the bullets were slaughtered by artillery shells down the road. Assorted limbs and torsos decorated the countryside; a feast for the ravenous dogs that arrived at the scene, silent witnesses of the limitless nature of human hatred and their lust for power. For the first time, Arturo actually feared for his life. While he has lived through many battles during his childhood, they were usually alerted before any attack happened and managed to get to the shelter in time. But this assault took him completely by surprise, and perhaps it was exactly that, the uncertainty of whether or not they would reach safety, which caused an unimaginable fear to rise in him... Meanwhile, a familiar voice echoed through his head... -“So you’re just going to run away? Is that how you all solve your problems? You sicken me.” -“Oh great.” Arturo sighed. The last thing he needed was a lecture from someone who had just moved into his head less than an hour ago.- “You again.” -“Of course it’s me again. Who else were you expecting, the Spanish Inquisition?” Arturo sighed again. He had only known Cirvante for 30 minutes, and already he knew it was useless to argue with him. -“You’re just going to run away to your little hole, thinking you’ll be safe there? The SHION didn’t come here because they were short of labor or territories. They came here for me! Which means now they’re coming for you too!” -“But-“, Arturo said, weakly. He already he was in for the long haul. -“And even if you did manage to escape, what then? Do you really think they’ll just give up and go home? You’ll live your entire life in exile, watching as those you love die because you were too much of a coward to take responsibility for your power. Is that what you want? IS IT?!” Cirvante was furious now. In all his years on Earth, he never had to deal with someone who seemed so unreliable. -“What do you want me to do, play hero or something? Powers or not, I can’t take on an entire battalion of enemy soldiers!” -“It’s all in your mind. Stop setting limits for yourself! Do you not realize that within you lies the power to change the world, Arturo?” -“Change the world...?” -“It’s time for you to step up, mate. Now, you’re going to get out there, and you’re gonna do what’s right. Understood?” A sudden feeling of weightlessness took Arturo by surprise as he returned to the real world. He felt a rush of energy throughout his whole body. His appearance became much more serious and resolute; he gained battle aura, light purple in color, and his eyes turned a deep shade of violet. The Longinus appeared in his hand; the rust and dried blood replaced by a shining coat of pure silver. -“Let’s do this.” A shameless smirk crossed Arturo’s face as he rushed towards the mass of marching soldiers, ready to kick some SHION ass. ____________________ Die Letzte Stunde der Welt

Hiryuu

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Posted on 02-27-08 06:04:49 PM

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What's the status on this?

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 03-03-08 07:05:51 PM

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Chapter 03: A Fighting Chance - 70% done, need to work out the first 'boss battle' sequence in still. Also curse you Hiryuu for reminding me that I actually have to finish this D: ____________________ Die Letzte Stunde der Welt - Minus. - VGMix X

Hiryuu

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Posted on 03-03-08 09:43:41 PM

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Originally posted by Cirvante
Chapter 03: A Fighting Chance - 70% done, need to work out the first 'boss battle' sequence in still.

Also curse you Hiryuu for reminding me that I actually have to finish this D:

I'm badly behind myself and I need to end up getting another chapter out. It's been a month and a half and I've nothing to show for it.

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 08-14-08 12:55:32 AM (last edited by Cirvante at 05-08-09 10:50 PM)

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OOC: It's been half a year, time to update! I decided to screw the formatting, since, well, ten pages is a lot to HTML-ify. Stage 1.3:_________________ The Gears of War... ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Monte Estrella, Rosario, Puerto Rico 20:27 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- Diego stood dumbstruck as he witnessed his son’s transformation into what seemed like a cheap anime character knock-off. For a few moments, he had completely forgotten what was happening around him; a mixture of awe and disbelief prevented him from reacting. An explosion from a nearby mortar quickly returned him to his senses, and he awoke to see his son darting off to do battle with the invaders. -“Pero qué haces, hijo! Where the hell do you think you’re going? The safe house is that way!” Arturo turned around to see his dad worrying like crazy. -“I’ll be fine. You get to the shelter; I’ll hold them off!” He smiled reassuringly. -“Are you crazy?! You’re going to get killed out there!” Diego was practically having a conniption now. Arturo sighed. How typical of his father to overreact like that, he thought. Having grown up in a world wracked by constant warfare, his parents were always worried about what would happen when the war caught up to them. They tried their best to make his life a happy one, sheltering him from all suffering. Then war knocked on their door. For three years they were running from shelter to safe house to refuge, a self-imposed internal exile triggered by the survival instinct. When his mother died, Diego was even more overprotective of him, refusing to let him go out at all. Unable to see the world around him, Arturo became self-absorbed and apathetic. The sound of gunfire and air raid alarms were his sole companions. It’s come a long way since then, Arturo thought. He had a gift, and with it came a huge responsibility, to himself, his family, and the world. All he wanted was for his dad to have more confidence in him. -“Papá, trust me on this. I’m not a little kid anymore, I can take care of myself. You need to get to safety.” Another nearby explosion threatened to sweep them off their feet. -“Hurry! Just go!” Arturo did a waving salute as he darted off to face the invading soldiers. -“Good luck, son...” ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 SHION Command Post, Rosario, Puerto Rico 20:27 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- The invading SHION forces stationed themselves on the foothills on the side of the mountain and set up a command post. They needed to rally the troops and discuss possible strategies before going in, as going after the Longinus unprepared could prove very dangerous. -“Listen up, soldiers,” Captain Sachs said in his usual German accent, “We’re not going to let Herr General steal all the glory, are we?” A resounding “Nein!” was heard from the group of about 400 soldiers in the rally meeting. -“We already have the city under our control. Their resistance was pathetic. They were practically begging to be conquered!” A loud wave of cheers and battle cries ensued. -“But!” -The crowd fell silent again- “We cannot let ourselves fall prey to overconfidence. We were lucky the Meridian hasn’t had any involvement in this yet. However, now that we’ve captured the town, the villagers surely must have given them the alert. Those dogs are likely on their way here even as we speak.” -“But! In the end, it shall mean no difference!” More cheers were heard. “We shall take the Longinus from right under their noses! Even if they do make it here, it will be too late! With the power of the Longinus in our hands, there is nothing -nothing- we cannot conquer! The world shall be ours for the taking! For glory! For the SHION!!” The crowd of soldiers broke out in raucous approval, worthy of even the most fanatical of leaders. Captain Sachs’ motivational speech had quite the effect on them: troop morale was at an all-time high; their loyalty was unwavering, and their thirst for battle insatiable. With fine soldiers such as these, what could stand in their way? Their rejoicing was quickly interrupted by a hollow-sounding explosion, followed by a blinding flash of lavender that left the soldiers dumbstruck. Even the Captain was at a loss for words as to what just happened. What if the Meridian had already arrived? Could they have already taken the Longinus? -“Ach! Was ist dass? What the hell’s going on?” -“Captain! We’ve received a report from the front lines. Someone’s got the Longinus already and is on the attack!” -“WHAT?! Damn zu Hölle! If the Meridian’s behind this...” -“No, it’s just a kid, sir! Take a look for yourself!” The soldier showed him the video feed of the ongoing battle, which was being played on a small laptop computer. The boy cleanly impaled a pair of soldiers with one thrust of his spear; a couple of seconds later he shot up into the air, dive-bombing a fireteam stationed near some recons, sending soldiers and vehicles alike flying in all directions. Debris from what used to be an APC flew straight into the camera, and the screen went blank. Sachs watched flabbergasted as his cannon fodder frontline troops were getting one-upped by the Longinus’ overwhelming power. He was really worried about the difficulty of his mission now; a confrontation with the Meridian would have been bad enough, but this, this was just suicide. -“...Impossible! Illogical!How could a mere child cause so much damage to our forces?! This is unacceptable!” -“Should we contact General Grubach, sir?” -“No! If he finds out I’ve lost the Longinus to some kid, he’ll have my head on a platter! I’ll be the laughingstock of the entire SHION army! My rank! My career! Ruined!” -“Sir, calm down. If we can stop him and recover the Lance before the General finds out, there is no need for such hassle, right?” said the soldier who was standing beside him, not used to seeing Herr Captain throwing a fit over a situation like this. -“Awaiting orders, sir!”, the soldier in front of him said. Captain Sachs quickly regained his composure. He had the support of his loyal troops; what more did he need? -“...Ahem! Yes, well... In any case, our biggest priority is to recapture the Longinus before the Meridian can get ahold of him. There’s no time for strategy now: we must overwhelm him with full force! The future of our mission depends on it! All units; move out!!” The assembly let out a huge battle cry. -“Victory! Honor! Glory!” Recons, tanks, and AAs sped out of the command post, while the rest of the bloodthirsty soldiers moved by APC or by foot. Their shouting was so loud, Sachs practically had to scream so he could be heard. He called out the two officers who were standing in the front row. They raised their right arm diagonally as a salute and approached the Captain. -“Prepare my Parzival. I’m heading out there with the troops. Lieutenant Graves, you’re in charge. You will inform me of any further developments in this operation. Dismissed!” Both of them said “Sir!” and gave the salute again. Captain Sachs then made his way to a 10-foot tall mech lying squat on the ground. The SHA-1103-AS1 Parzival is the SHION’s standard assault suit. Its cockpit was a one-seater, shaped like an oval, with the SHION insignia and serial number on the front. The left arm was a 10-barrel chain-gun, while the right one had a claw for grabbing stuff. Sachs’ custom model also had two six-pod missile launchers retracted into its large round shoulders, and a massive Ceratanium-edged broadsword served as the S-Parzival’s close combat alternative. Sachs boarded his mech and turned the key. Dozens of small lights began blinking as the control panel display flashed to life. A loud whirr filled the cockpit as the engines fired up. Growling, Captain Sachs pushed up on the controls with all his might, fueled by his desire to avenge his losing honor. The mech jerked forward as it dashed towards his objective with blazing speed. -“Heh. You’re mine now, kid!” ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Monte Estrella, Rosario, Puerto Rico 20:41 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- -“huff... huff... Damn it! How many of them are there, anyway?” Arturo was starting to get tired. He had just slain the 97th soldier this night, not counting all the vehicles he disabled, yet there was no end in sight to the battle. Wave after wave of enemy troops appeared in front of him. Most were quickly dispatched with a series of quick slashes and stabs, but the sheer number of attackers threatened to overwhelm him. Arturo stared at the next battalion of infantry and assault vehicles approaching from the horizon. He estimated them to be about 200 strong, counting the dozen or so APCs and tanks. -“Hehe... huff... I know I might’ve been a bit over-eager, but isn’t this a bit much?” -“Don’t worry about it, mate. It’s only a couple hundred enemies. You can take them, right?” Cirvante said cynically. -“Oh sure, easy for you to say! You’re not the one getting shot at by an entire battalion!” Arturo said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. -“Hey, I was just trying to give you some moral support. No need to get all fussy on me.” -“Whatever. Let’s just focus on the battle at hand, all right?” -“Fair enough.” Arturo walked to the edge of the cliff, his eyes fixed on the approaching enemies below. He made a gesture with his free hand and sprouted a pair of shining white wings on his back. His aura got stronger as he spread them out and hovered about seven feet above the ground. A few soldiers were taking potshots at him, but Arturo shrugged it off and dive-bombed them, driving his spear into the ground with all his strength. This created a shockwave that sent dozens of enemy troops and transports flying several meters high. Moments later, two tanks came at Arturo from opposite directions, pointing their barrels towards the black-haired Aleph. He did a swift air-dodge just as the cannons fired their shells, hitting each other instead. -“Bring in the Hornet’s Nest!”, a nearby officer ordered. Another group of soldiers with signal beams brought in what appeared to be a turtle-like vehicle with a large rotating center ring. The center section had about 30 or so holes that served as missile ports. Seconds later, the ports opened up and the Hornet’s Nest started spinning in place, taking a few moments to discern the target and get up to operating speed. Arturo stopped to look at the strange robotic tank model that had just entered the fray, both out of surprise and genuine curiosity. He’d always had an interest for robotics and other mechanical stuff, you see. “…Huh? What the hell is that thing? I’ve never seen one of those before! Must be a new series or something—WHOA!”, he screamed after the Hornet’s Nest began to fire scores of deadly semi-guided rockets in all directions. “Less talking, more dodging!”, Cirvante scolded. Multiple whooshing sounds were heard as Arturo did a barrel roll to avoid the incoming barrage of missiles that converged on his position. Unfortunately for the SHION, deploying the Nest was a bad call. Some of the missiles had collided with each other, yes, but many strays crashed in the surrounding areas, causing all sorts of collateral damage and substantial casualties to their already battered forces. Their field officer stood in shock after realizing his massive gaffe cost him more than half of his troops… and Arturo was now making short work of the rest. “What?! Im.. Impossible! How did he dodge all of those so—GAH! BOOM” And that was the last thing he said before a direct hit from one of the last stray missiles claimed his life. The situation got worse when the enemy found out the failed missile strike had destroyed or disabled all of their armored units. Without them, they just lost any real chance of winning the battle and retrieving the Longinus. The soldiers quickly began to panic as they realized there was nothing they could do against their opponent’s supernatural abilities. It was becoming painfully apparent that they went in clearly under-equipped and over-confident, and now they were about to pay the price. -“Gah! We can’t keep this up much longer! We’re running out of troops, and the Captain is nowhere in sight!” one of them shouted amongst the rattling sound of heavy fire. “We’ve gone in way over our heads! We’ve got to retreat!” another one complained. -“Grr... We have no choice! Call General Grübach and have him send reinforcements at once!--“ -“Und just what the hell do you think you are doing, herr Korpsman? Did I not order you to stand your ground until I arrived? Are you truly that weak that you can’t hold out against a single enemy?!” A booming, angry voice from behind them interrupted the corporal’s order. It belonged to none other than Captain Aldric Sachs, who had just arrived at the scene in his custom-made Parzival mech. The Captain was writhing in rage, determined to put an end to the boy’s interference and recapturing the Longinus. The corporal attempted to stammer out an apology. -“But s-sir, the enemy has been slaughtering us! How are we supposed to kill him, if we can’t even get close to him? I’m sorry sir, but right now retreating is the only option we’ve got-“ -“Enough of your excuses, you incompetent Dumkopf!” Sachs yelled at him, knocking him away with a swing of his left arm, leaving the humiliated officer bloodied on the grass with more than a few broken bones to his name. Captain Sachs’ face was contorted by rage. Not even his best troops, the Kriegsmärche, were able to halt Arturo and Cirvante’s advance in the slightest. He knew of course they weren’t a match for the newborn Aleph, but he at least expected his troops to hold out a little better in the face of such a strong enemy. But instead they were being cut down like blades of grass, unable to repel the Aleph’s unending assault. The Captain had to do something to prevent the SHION forces from losing their hold in the area, not to mention to save his own face. He would have no choice but to end the battle himself. -“All of you, fall back to the city! Eliminate any remaining resistance and await further orders. The Aleph’s mine!” Of course, Sachs was already prepared. After all, this scenario was more or less inevitable; it was a matter of how long would his soldiers be able to last before he could arrive at the battlefield and come up with an effective strategy. But right now, things didn’t look so good for his plans. He’d have to come up with a new tactic, and fast. It was then that Sachs noticed Arturo was still unaware of his presence; the fledgling Aleph was too busy fending off the two dozen or so troops that were surrounding his position, and this time it actually looked like they were giving him trouble for a change. The boy was tired, he could tell. -“So he’s running out of steam, eh? Heh heh heh! Yes… Now I’ve got you, little boy… hier kommt Sachs!! Ahahahahaha!” This was it. The only chance he’d get at a surprise attack. Sachs drew his blade and set his boosters on full power, rushing straight towards the unsuspecting Aleph in the distance… ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Command Room, MRS Avalon Position: 66°32’ W 17°33’ N alt 15760m 20:31 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- The Avalon’s Command Room served as both the bridge of the vessel and a military command post for the Meridian forces. The room was outfitted with all of the latest surveillance technology; several dozen computer screens detailed enemy and ally positions in different theatres of operation around the world. Security footage from ground and air bases was being streamed through a live satellite feed. A large screen near the front of the helm showed a map of the Avalon’s current position. The low humming and beeping of the countless monitoring sensors could be heard all over the bridged, until suddenly— BEEBEEBEEBEEP Uh-oh, that wasn’t good. Several WARNING signs popped up in place of some of the regular windows. The crewmen were startled, thinking it was an enemy attack, despite the fact that the closest major establishment of SHION forces was in the Bahamas, nearly a thousand miles away, and no superweapons had been constructed there as of yet. Their fears were dissipated when one of the tacticians pinpointed the source of the flux to a small island country recently invaded by the SHION, and revealed it to be none other than the highly-sought Lance of Longinus. -“Commander Starley!” -“Report.” “Commander Starley” referring to Lord Rosslyn Starley-Mersenne, the acting commander-in-chief of the Meridian Liberation Army. A noblewoman in her mid-thirties of British origin, Lord Starley is a capable and charismatic leader who is fiercely loyal to her troops. She treats her soldiers as if they were her family, and even insists on being addressed on a first-name basis. -“We’ve detected a huge energy spike about 130 miles northwest of our current position! Readings match the Longinus’ energy signature, ma’am!”, the tactician replied. -“What? Where is this? Put it on screen, now!”, Rosslyn commanded. -“Right away, ma’am.” Another screen popped up in front of them; it was a map of a mountainous region not too far away, accurate to 5 meters. The energy spike was represented by a large white dot rapidly moving west. Yes, that’s right. Moving. -“Wait, it’s moving?! Oh, no… Somebody must have found it already... This is serious. I need immediate satellite footage of the area! Just what is going on down there…?” -“We’ve tracked the location to the foothills near the city of Rosario, Puerto Rico. Target is engaged in combat with enemy forces while approaching the city. It appears Rosario has already fallen into SHION hands, and the holder is attempting to repel their advance by himself.”, he answered. -“How is he doing right now?”, Rosslyn asked out of concern. -“See for yourself.” The map, now centered on the white dot, showed several rows of smaller red blips moving towards it. One by one, the red dots disappeared, but ten more took their place. The white dot was quickly becoming surrounded, and it was only a matter of time before the SHION troops overrun him. Commander Rosslyn was seriously starting to worry. If the SHION finally managed to get their hands on the Longinus, there’s no telling what they could do with that kind of power… -“This isn’t good… Who knows how much longer he can last against them? He’s barely had any battle experience! Even though the Longinus may grant him immeasurable strength, but the sheer effort needed to control his powers in this state must be taking an enormous toll on his body…” Commander Starley let out an exasperated sigh. It looked like the battle was inevitable after all. But she had little choice. If Meridian didn’t do anything about it, before long the SHION would have killed Arturo and captured Longinus. Rosslyn turned on her microphone and announced her decision to all the troops. -“Attention, all personnel! The Longinus has been found! I repeat; the Longinus has been found! We absolutely cannot allow the Society for the Human Improvement of Nations to seize any more Aleph for their twisted experiments, much less one as powerful as the Lance of Longinus. The 19th, 26th and 33rd rapid-response strike teams and the 47th Special Tactical Operations Battalion, report to the auditorium for emergency briefing. We’re moving out.” General Darielle Hawthorne, the short blond-haired officer standing at Commander Starley’s side, looked at her superior with surprised eyes. She had never seen her leader so determined before in the eight years they’ve served together. She could tell that whatever was happening, something major must be going down for Rosslyn to drop the bomb like this all of a sudden. -“The 47th? You’re sending Pendragon into the fray? But why? The enemy forces are small enough; the advance teams should be able to handle it fine. Unless…!” Darielle gasped, realization having hit her face. –“Unless… You’re not planning on going down there yourself, are you?!” Rosslyn nodded her head. -“It’s true that, out of overconfidence, the SHION only decided to send a small attack force to retrieve the Longinus. But we must not rule out the possible presence of special forces units, heavy weaponry, or in the absolute worst case, other Aleph. I’m sending Pendragon as a precautionary measure to ensure this mission’s success in case anything were to happen to the frontline units. Besides, I’m quite curious to see what this Aleph can do. He definitely has potential, yes…” -“But…!” -“Relax, Darielle. It’s not like anything is going to happen to me. You know me better than that. There’s no need for you to be so over-protective all the time.” Rosslyn answered playfully. –“Anyway, I’m heading down to the auditorium. I leave you in charge, General Hawthorne.” She finished, smiling. Darielle sighed. –“Aye, ma’am.” She answered, giving a stiff-armed salute. ------------------------------------------------- 14 June 2312 Pendragon Common Quarters, MRS Avalon Position: 66°32’ W 17°33’ N alt 15760m 20:33 GMT -4 ------------------------------------------------- The common quarters were more or less a lounge area where the soldiers of Pendragon unwind after their missions or while off-duty. It was equipped with all sorts of amenities, such as holo-screen TVs, an assortment of video games, and of course, a fully stocked minibar. The door at the back of the room connects to the hallway where the living quarters are located, while the one to the front leads to the central hallway where all the important sections are. The room was abuzz with random banter, and the chugging of alcoholic beverages was in full swing. After all, why wouldn’t it be? They had the recent victories in Cuba and Florida to celebrate. And parties like this were the one thing that brought them together and kept them from losing their minds due to the constant battles. -“They just up and came into our room and nearly trashed the place! Can you believe that?” -“What? Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me, Will!” Sean and William were relaxing on the two sofas in the middle of the room, enjoying a couple of beers and talking about their lives like the good friends they are. The two were the only Knights of the Round that were still off-duty; the rest were busy on other missions in North and Central America as backup for their struggling forces. Sure, they were worried about them, but hey, as long as they were off-duty, why not make the most of it? -“Heh. So then Collie came over and asks if—“ The sound of blaring sirens cut their conversation short. All of the holoscreens used for entertainment immediately switched to a red screen with the word “ALERT” in big capital letters. The emergency lights turned on, drenching the once-cheery white lounge room in an ominous shade of red. -“Huh? What’s happening?” the soldier in the corner asked. -“The hell’s going on now?” another black, muscly soldier went. -“Hey, isn’t that the Chief?” a third one said, pointing at the four screens on the ceiling. Everyone gathered around the news screens, all of them displaying Rosslyn’s emergency announcement to her troops. There was much speculation amongst the soldiers as to what exactly was happening that deserved such an urgent broadcast. -“Whatever’s going on has to be really important for her to—“ -“Shh!” The room fell silent as Rosslyn gave her message. <�…The Longinus has been found! I repeat, the Longinus has been found!...> A few surprised gasps and incredulous expressions were heard. –“What?! The Longinus? Where? No way! That’s impossible!” -“All right, you heard the lady! Everyone, gear up and head to the auditorium immediately!” Sean ordered. -“So… Another battle, huh?” William asked rhetorically. -“Guess so. Oh well, you know what they say, no rest for the weary… C’mon. Let’s roll.” replied Sean, packing up his stuff. All the soldiers suited up for battle and ran to the auditorium as fast as they could. Sean and William were the last to follow, making sure all heads were accounted for. Neither of them said a word on their way to the briefing. The two Knights arrived at the Pendragon Auditorium around five minutes later, picking the two empty front-row seats closest to the center. Sean and William took a moment to observe the atmosphere that permeated the hall. The tension was so thick, not even a chainsaw would be able to cut through it. Silent excitement filled the air, an exhilarating eagerness for the battle that was about to begin. A battle that would inevitably shift the balance of power, and forever change the course of history… ____________________ Die Letzte Stunde der Welt - Minus. - VGMix X

Xkeeper

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Posted on 01-20-09 09:25:04 PM

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*152026 <@Cirvante> also, linecount: 37 --> 41
*152029 <@Cirvante> LEVEL UP!

... ...
37 Cirvante decided to start a new paragraph, which would be
38 done by hitting the enter key.
39
40
41 With that, he thought, 'Heh; now I have 41 lines!'

I'm a skeptic.

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 05-09-09 01:52:51 AM

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So, this is actually not completely dead. I've been really busy with college and exams and all that jazz, and well... I kinda forgot about it, really. Hopefully, I'll be able to post 1.4 and 1.5 sometime over the summer, since I'm way overdue for an update... It just depends on how much I get nagged for it ____________________ board2 - Jul - OC ReMix

Hiryuu

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Posted on 05-09-09 02:03:54 AM

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I've had two chapters out since you've done your last one.

And you gave me grief for not getting one out.

:\

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 05-09-09 02:06:40 AM

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Yes, yes, I think we've established well enough that neither of us have any moral ground left to stand on. :\ ____________________ board2 - Jul - OC ReMix

Hiryuu

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Posted on 05-09-09 02:10:24 AM

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Ego's good enough for me; I've been beatin' yer ass. :\

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Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 07-27-09 11:37:08 PM

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Just poppin' in to let the three of you that are actually reading this know that it's far from dead. I finally decided to get off my ass and work on it for a change, so you should see 1.4 up anywhere between tomorrow and Friday. 'Course, I know I'm shit for deadlines, but at least I'm trying now, damnit ____________________ board2 - Jul - OC ReMix

Hiryuu

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Posted on 07-28-09 04:04:59 AM

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	It'd surprise the piss out of me at least. Then again I said I'd do 28 and lookieee... ____________________

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