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Jul - General Chat - Bad Breakup Behaviour. New poll - New thread - New reply
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Tarale
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Posted on 02-03-08 10:59:55 PM Link | Quote
*mutter curse grumble*

*sigh*

I know that breaking up is not something that is easy. In fact it is usually difficult, awkward, painful and generally sucktacular. It's not easy for either party, and it takes a long time to get over.

But because it's so nasty and painful and stuff I try not to do stuff that will make it worse if I can. So I'm a bit annoyed when my ex contacts me recently and informs me that he is—and I quote—"fucking" somebody else. Not in a relationship with somebody else, "fucking" somebody else. And that he still has feelings for me, but that he has "needs".

I told him that I was happy for him, and that I hope he is happy—it's not my business any more and I genuinely wish him happiness as a friend of mine—and I get told that I'm misinterpreting his intention and that he's not happy. I can only wonder what the hell he wants from me? It seems to me like he's trying to hurt me, make me jealous or something, make me regret breaking up with him—ask him back. I don't know why I had to know all this, what the deal is, what he's playing at. He says I "should" know—I just think he's trying to fuck with me.

I didn't tell him that I am interested in somebody else too—I didn't think it was good to turn it into a pissing match. I was angry though and I did get a bit pissy, asking what the hell he wants from me.

God it shits me when people do this kind of thing.

Anyone else got sucky breakup stories to tell?

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Shadic
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Posted on 02-03-08 11:07:32 PM Link | Quote
Tarale
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Posted on 02-04-08 12:14:11 AM Link | Quote
Yeah, I'm certainly not feeling like talking to him right now. I'm pissed off because I can't think how else to take this but that he's trying to make some kind of point, try to hurt me or something.

I understand that he's probably still hurting, but I'm still annoyed that he's taking it out on me. I've tried so hard not to fuck around with his feelings and make things worse for him, but I don't feel that I'm being given that same respect back.

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DigitalBasic
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Posted on 02-04-08 12:21:28 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Tarale
Anyone else got sucky breakup stories to tell?

Probably would help if I had a girlfriend ever haha.

But I really wouldn't know what to do in a situation like this.
Although I can say that he is acting like a jackass at the moment just for you to give him attention it seems...

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Posted on 02-04-08 12:52:05 AM Link | Quote
I HAD a gf, but she vanished 9 months ago due to not graduation Highschool. I have the feeling she broke up with me without telling me and it has been eating away at my mood for the past week now -__-

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Tarale
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Posted on 02-04-08 12:53:38 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Electrometer Prime
I HAD a gf, but she vanished 9 months ago due to not graduation Highschool. I have the feeling she broke up with me without telling me and it has been eating away at my mood for the past week now -__-
That's also bloody rude. If she broke up with you, she should have the decency to tell you.

God people suck.

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Posted on 02-04-08 01:37:36 AM Link | Quote
I've got breakup stories to tell but the all tend to end in the similar fashion of one person wanted too much and one person wasn't happy with it. When that occurs then both people don't want to talk to each other again or it's really hard to do so.

Honestly, anymore, I'm under the impression that if I get into a relationship (and it's happened twice in the past two years) that anything I allow myself to get into and that it ends in it coming out in the negative or in the positive is something I ALLOWED myself to get into. If I feel good or bad about it, it's really no one's fault or credit other than unto myself, not the other person...at least that's how I feel in the guy vs. girl relationship - the guy is always going to be wrong (even if he's really not).

Hence why I try to abstain from relationships these days; anything that I get anymore tends to be another bloodsucking leech or one that clings to my wallet without a lot in return. I'm perfectly fine abstaining really...and can find one at any given time if I felt like it (which I don't).

Now if I was under the impression that a good majority of people treated people with respect these days, maybe I'd feel better in a social relationship...as it stands I probably could've ended up in bed with the last person I saw on the first night but I just flat out didn't want it and it ended in not seeing each other after two weeks because someone didn't know what the term 'space' meant.

Oh well...my reasoning is that there's going to be one the fits the mold one of these days. If there's not, there's no loss to me. I don't necessarily after validate myself in the eyes of another individual in the eyes of love...it's just a nice option that happens sometimes. Life's really too short to worry about it sometimes.

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Tarale
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Posted on 02-04-08 03:12:11 AM Link | Quote
Sooooo... you're saying I allowed myself to get into this situation so I should be OK with it? I'm not sure I follow?

I don't think that having had a relationship with another person gives them a licence to treat their former partners like shit?

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Posted on 02-04-08 05:41:25 AM Link | Quote
Tarale
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Posted on 02-04-08 05:49:20 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Shadic
Originally posted by Tarale
Sooooo... you're saying I allowed myself to get into this situation so I should be OK with it? I'm not sure I follow?

I don't think that having had a relationship with another person gives them a licence to treat their former partners like shit?

...Where was this said? I must not be able to read between the lines very well.

I don't know, I can't work out what Hiryuu is trying to say at all. Perhaps I'm being obtuse?

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Posted on 02-04-08 06:01:41 AM Link | Quote
Tarale
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Posted on 02-04-08 07:47:34 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Shadic
Originally posted by Tarale
I don't know, I can't work out what Hiryuu is trying to say at all. Perhaps I'm being obtuse?

He's rambling a little bit.. But I'm pretty sure that he was just talking about his own love life.. Not trying to connect it to your situation in any way...

Then again, I could be completely wrong, so.. ;
I dunno... like I said, I've no clue WTF he's on about

I just wonder what the bit about allowing oneself to be in a given situation is all about. I was trying to find some kind of meaning in it but I think I fail.

Hiryuu, explainerise yourself

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Posted on 02-05-08 02:07:30 AM Link | Quote
I've been through alotta breakups in my time, and alotta'em were for the dumbest reasons. The women I met were looking at my flaws (like if humans are perfect in the first place.)

When I got dumped back in the days, it woulda really put me down. I used to feel like it was the end'a the world for me, now the last serious relationship went down like this...

When things were getting outta hand between me & my ex girl back in 2000, I tried so hard to fix the relationship with her (I just started working as a doorman at that time.) Well, she was pretty much treating me like shit. Anyway we were supposed to go on a kida fix it date, when I went to her house to pick her up her Mom opened the door...

When I asked if my ex was there, her mom said that her friend to get her and they went to Six Flags, she also told me that she jumped in the back seat with a guy...

When I confronted my ex, she let out her dirt that she was doing me dirty sleeping around. When I broke it off, I never thought I woulda got over it. I would even vomit at times cause in my mind, everytime I saw myself kissing her I would see'er giving blow jobs. I know my mind is outta whack. But yeah I even went through an anger spree by picking up women at bars to screw'em in hotels and leave'em there after I got my nut off.

It was crazy in my relationship days.

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Posted on 02-05-08 04:14:21 AM Link | Quote
I've had exactly one breakup up to this and it was only because she thought that we live to far away from eachother. Luckily we are still friends.
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Posted on 02-05-08 07:58:03 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Electrometer Prime
I HAD a gf, but she vanished 9 months ago due to not graduation Highschool. I have the feeling she broke up with me without telling me and it has been eating away at my mood for the past week now -__-


Hm... 9 months... her parents sent her away for getting pregnant. She'll be back once the kid is put up for adoption.
Tarale
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Posted on 02-05-08 09:36:05 PM Link | Quote
Well, now I've started behaving badly too.

In an attempt to explain to my ex why what he'd said had hurt me, and trying to prove a point about his policy of being "open and honest", I was "open and honest" in return and hurt him. Hah, I'm a bitch. I knew better than that. Worse, he thanked me for my honesty, but admitted that what I'd said hurt like fuck.

I don't think my behaviour was acceptable at all.

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Posted on 02-06-08 12:52:20 AM Link | Quote
If he deserves it, it doesn't matter if it's right
DigitalBasic
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Posted on 02-06-08 02:53:16 AM Link | Quote
Hey, if he wants to do that to you you can do that to him. Fair is fair I say.

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Posted on 02-06-08 04:35:54 AM Link | Quote
Depends. If he NEEDED to hear it, then it's fine in the end. Sometimes you need to be honest to send a message.

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Tarale
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Posted on 02-06-08 05:34:59 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Apophis
If he deserves it, it doesn't matter if it's right


I don't think it's a matter of whether somebody deserves something or not. I don't think the world works that way. I feel bad about what I did.

I don't know that he really needed to hear it right now either. I think it was a bit bad.

Oh well.

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