| Q 風のノータム Level: 105      Posts: 1081/2986 EXP: 11966586 For next: 295674 Since: 08-03-07 Pronouns: she/her From: Nowhere Since last post: 41 days Last activity: 3 hours  |
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| This thread was originally meant to be a post in this thread, but after getting beat to the punch a total of nine times, I decided it wasn't worth it to try get this up to around 12,000 words. So that all my blood, sweat and tears wouldn't go to waste, I decided to just put this here instead. Warning: This was merely an attempt to get as many words as I could into a real post without abusing the copy and paste function. The quality of this is about what you would expect from sleep deprived ramblings. Don't expect anything spectacular: I think that you are all just crazy nutso for attempting such a thing, and I won't even feel like counting the number of words before long. I mean, even writing this post is getting pretty tiresome with this word counting, and I'm only about halfway done. (Well, I was when I wrote that. Thanks, Acmlm) I've already had to add a ridiculous number of words due to these fast posters, and before you know it, people will practically be writing essays just to follow the rules and post here. Speaking of writing essays, I should be writing one right now. That essay should be only a little more than 100 words more than this post. Even though I'm somewhat known for my long posts, this is quite difficult. Granted, I kinda have to pace myself, seeing that anybody could make a post any second now. I don't need many more words, though, so it looks like I might just get this spot. Unfortunately, Prince Kassad just took it, so it looks like I'll be writing for quite a while longer, now. It's hard to believe I started with a 24 word post, and now look at it. I'm just rambling on, and I still have a long way to go. It's kinda like running a mile, though, seeing that you just just have to keep at it, and you'll eventually make it. So, yeah, I'm getting tired of this metaposting, so here's a little story: Once upon a time, four people decided to go on an adventure. Near the end of this adventure, after overcoming many obstacles and monsters, got tired of this adventure and started killing everybody on his team while blaming it on their lack of skill. He then died, because the rest of his team was dead. The end. The second best part about that story is that it was true, and the best part about it is that I was one of those adventurers. Anyway, I still don't feel like metaposting, and I don't have a program I can use to count the words, so here is that story's sequel: Once upon a time, after surviving being killed, two adventurers on an adventure were joined by two more adventurers. One of the old adventurers killed one of the new adventurer by mistake, and the other adventurer killed everybody else. Fin. ...And now, since Acmlm stole my spot again and forced me to delete my post, I shall now go mad. "Mad?" you ask? Yes, mad. I will become as mad as an adventurer who has been repeatedly killed by another adventurer because said other adventure is merely bored. I will become so mad, I will stick a rabbit bone in my beard, after I grow one, and leave it there for a lengthly period of time even if people say, "Hey, you have a rabbit bone in your beard. I will become so mad, I will go on the Internet and find a word counter so I don't have to put these stupid little tallies in my post. I will go so mad that I'll start sticking cards into my hat, even if I do not intend to cheat at Poker. I might just even turn green and smile all of the time while uttering nonsensical analogies. That is how mad I will become! ...As I am typing this, I am regretful say that somebody else has taken my spot yet again. The fact that this person has apparently cheated to do so is quite angering, especially since it's a few dozen words short by my count, but I shall continue in a just manner to achieve the legendary 1536 word post in a just manner. Once I achieve such a noble goal, I will finally be free of this tyrannical thread, and I may go back to my duties to serve as a productive member of society. It may be difficult, and I have pondered giving up, but I will continue! I have nearly 1000 more words to go, but I will continue! There is a chance that somebody may cheat as well to earn what is rightfully mine, but I will continue! Now, my fellow members, I present to you the greatest story I have ever written in such a situation. This story has no title: I float in the void without a mind. My heart has been torn out, yet I can't remember why. The void, myself, and the thing is all that is known to me. What is the thing? I do not know. I am without knowledge, yet I know it is there. The thing seems familiar somehow, but it is impossible for me to know why. The thing is my treasure. Without a mind or a heart, it is all I posses besides this shell of a body. I bring it closer, and suddenly, I seem to remember. The thing is my collection of memories. With it, my mind can begin to reform, and then I can remember why I am without a heart. The memories fill my mind slowly, and each one tells me more about myself. Once, there was no void, there was the world. The world was full of people, full of ideas, full of fun. It is now gone. Why? This is not clear, but it will be revealed to me. Yes, the void. It was created by a demon. Many other demons enlarged the void. Once I entered the void, all was lost. However, I still had my heart. Yes, my mind was with me as well. The void is becoming clear, now. I see words. hundreds of words. My memories are falling apart, and they are becoming words. This is how my mind was lost. These words are trying to fill the void, but demons keep on doubling the size of the void. Eventually, my mind was removed and now only my memories are left. My heart was torn out by myself. My heart is what is telling you these words. However, my heart is running out. My memories have given me one last memory. This is a message, combined both with my heart and my mind. The rest of my memories are gone, so you need to be the one to make sense of this. Here is the message: Please do not post before me again. I now battle the void with what little I have left. Goodbye. Man, after all that, I still have about 500 words to go, but I'll make it. I can get back to metaposting for a while as I try to think of what to do next. At over 1000 words, this is probably the longest post I have ever written. It's a shame, though, since I'm going for quantity over quality for this one. At this point, I have to wonder how many words I have lost to contractions that could easily be fixed if I just went and found them. I don't really feel like doing that, though, so I guess I won't bother. At this point, it'd probably be easier to just keep on writing as if this post was Lumine Hall, seeing that I'm basically just thinking out loud here. ...You know, I wonder how many people are actually reading at this point. I mean, I certainly wouldn't be reading this post at this point. Well, for all those who actually read this far, send me a quick PM or something. I'd love to know if this number is actually above one, with that one being the person writing it (me). Anyway, I'm actually almost done at this point, but I still have a long way to go, seeing that I started out with a 24 word post that Terra stole from me, and then that 48 word post that Teconmoon swiped. I will never forgive any of you for this, especially Acmlm and Gabu. You guys are totally lame for making me do this. Actually, I'm the one who's making myself do this, so I guess I'm the totally lame one. This is the part where I make a joke about me being able to walk, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to read it (for those of you who are still reading), so I'll just let you imagine how bad it would be. ...Special thanks to Higsby for this. As I said, he has no idea how tempted I am to adopt the personality of a sailor/typical high school boy to tell him how I feel about that. I have about 1700 words to go, now, thanks to him. So much for that plea from my very heart. Oh, wait, here's an incoming message. "Greetings. You're asking yourself: Is this a trap or just a dead end? You shouldn't ask yourself such worthless questions. Aim higher. Try this: why am I here? Why do I exist, and what is my purpose in this universe? (Answers: 'Cause you are. 'Cause you do. 'Cause I got a shotgun, and you ain't got one.) Notably Unstable, Higsby (Probably) P.S. If things around here aren't working, it's because I'm laughing so hard." Blast that person who is probably Higsby! I will have my revenge! If I had a rocket launcher, I'd make somebody pay. I'd go up to him and say something cool, like, "You think you're big time? You're gonna DIE big time!" and blast 'im! Yeah! But enough exclamation marks, I should get back to my game of Super Mega Ultra Role Playing Game 64 Advance Deluxe Portable Dual Screen Special Edition Director's Cut VII: The Revenge of the Resurrection: Reloaded The Movie: The Game, seeing that I left it on for a few hours. While I go do that, here's another story type thing: It seemed like just another day at a top secret organization known simply as The Agency...That is, until the Spy showed up. Agents began dropping like flies, and many decided to leave until the Spy was taken care of. Now, there are only a few agents within The Agency willing to solve the case, and they know that one of them must be the Spy. Will the evilly mysterious organization be able to kill the mysteriously evil Spy before it's too late? I don't know. I'm starting to dislike this story already, so let's just scrap it along with that other story that I put so much work into. Anyway, I have well over 1000 words to go, and I need to go to bed pretty soon, so I think I'll just leave the rest for the morning. If anybody posts in the mean time, you'll surely see me start going even more insane a line or two below. Goodnight, you people! Good morning, you people! Nobody posted a reply yet, so I guess I can spend a few hours doing various things: checking the usual websites, playing a little StarCraft, playing a lot of Left 4 Dead... It'll be great, and nothing could possibly happen in the hours it'll take to do all of those things! Yet again, I must leave you, so I will return a couple of lines down to start working on this great post yet again! Goodbye, you people! Hello again, you people! Guess what happened while I was gone? Just guess. I dare you. I double dare you. I double double dare you, damn it! That's right, "Prince" Kassad the traitor took my spot again, leaving me with around 4000 words to write at this point. Let it be known, Kassad, that from this day forth, you and I are sworn enemies. Wile you aren't looking, I will replace your phone with a revolver and give you a call early in the morning while you are still sleeping! When you answer the phone, you will pull the trigger by mistake and create a hole in your head! Oh, but you will survive, I will see to it. After all, if you were dead, how could I place tiny explosives in your gloves on a cold day and show off my horrid violin skills, forcing you to plug your ears with your gloved hands, blowing both your head and your hands up! Ah, but you will survive that too, so that I may place my circus fleas, which are trained to jump through any hoop at my command, inside your hat one midsummer morning. When you walk out of your house, I shall rise my hoop, give my command, and you will unwillingly fly though it straight into the wall behind me, smashing your head and my otherwise worthless fleas! Ah, but you will easily survive that; it will be the last straw, though, so you will then see revenge. When you seek this revenge, you will find me outside in a park, making my next scheme of seemingly ambiguous fatality. You will come up with the cunning plan to dig a tunnel under me and place a bomb directly below me. Oh, but I will be far more cunning, as I will move a safe distance from the bomb, so when you come out to watch from what seems like a safe distance, you will blow your entire body up this time by your own flawed plan! Yes, but you will, as always, survive this. This will continue on every day for many years, until we both become old men. I will then apparently die, having a statue erected at my grave site. Once you visit my grave to gloat about how you had actually won the war while trying to hide your sorrow for the loss of your greatest rival ever, the statue's leg will then extend, driving its majestically sculpted shoe right into your nether regions and finally killing you as I stand from a safe distance holding the remote control of your doom, as I had really faked my death! I will then laugh a laugh so evil it would make even the most diabolical villains faint at the mere sound of it, as I had gotten the best revenge any being that has ever existed or will exist had gotten or will get in the entirety of space and time! Or I will just finish writing this to prove that anything you can post, I can post twice as much. Either or, really, seeing that I haven't quite decided yet. Tremble in fear as I conjure up my decision, Kassad, for your life may turn into a living hell! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to talk about Super Mega Ultra Role Playing Game 64 Advance Deluxe Portable Dual Screen Special Edition Director's Cut VII: The Revenge of the Resurrection: Reloaded The Movie: The Game. Yeah, so, Super Mega Ultra Role Playing Game 64 Advance Deluxe Portable Dual Screen Special Edition Director's Cut VII: The Revenge of the Resurrection: Reloaded The Movie: The Game is that game I would make if I could essentially wish any game into existence. To avoid seeming like I'm cheating, I'll just call it Super Mega Ultra RPG from now own, if I need to. As I was saying, this game would be somewhere in between Paper Mario and Mario & Luigi in terms of gameplay style, so there won't be any of that lame Final Fantasy type stuff. I hit you, now you get to hit me. Forget that stuff, this is where it's really at. Timing is everything, eh? Anyway, it would have 10 different endings. One of them involves turning into the bad guy; I don't mean just working for the bad guy, that's not fresh enough. I mean becoming the big evil guy that everybody has to try and rough up enough to achieve cosmic peace, or something. Another one does involve working for the bad guy, but to punish you for doing something so lame, you get killed in the end. Speaking of the plot, it will be a strange mix of epic story telling and offbeat humor, kinda-sorta like Pani Poni Dash! That is how it will be like as soon as djinn exists. Get it? No? Well, whatever, I still have about 3400 to go, so let's just move along. Move along to what, you ask? Well, let's talk about First Person Shooters for a while. Okay, so, the way I see it is that every weapon in a FPS can fit into a just a few categories. Here are the categories along with a brief description of them: Sniper Rifle: Pretty much anything relatively powerful compared to the other weapons in the game that's 100% accurate. This includes pretty much anything called a sniper rifle, the Railgun from the Quake games, and some bows/crossbows. Machine Gun: Something with a relatively fast rate of fire, but usually relatively poor accuracy. Miniguns, SMGs, all that jazz. (Things such as Quake 3's Lightning Gun also fall under this category) Pistol: That annoying gray area between Sniper Rifles and Machine Guns; May have a somewhat fast rate of fire and decent accuracy, vice versa, etc. In games, it's pretty much everything that the player model fires with one hand. Explosive: Essentially anything that can damage something without coming into contact with it. That includes rockets, grenades, mines, etc. Dud: Pretty much any projectile that doesn't explode and takes a while to get from point A to B, named so because most of them are like rockets or grenades that don't blow up. The Scout's baseball and the Combine Balls from Team Fortress 2 and Half-Life 2 respectively are the only examples projectile that come to mind at the moment. Thrown scenery objects that aren't bombs, which is what, say, the Gravity Gun capitalizes on, also falls under this category. Shotgun: I'm nearly confident in saying that Shotguns are anything that fires multiple "fast" projectiles with a single blast. Pretty much anything with "shotgun" in its name should be an example of this. (By the way, Marathon 2 had the best shotguns ever) Ranged: Anything that has a range less than a stone's throw, but more than crowbar's swipe, really. This would be flamethrowers, chainsaws (even though they might be Melee like), and whatnot. Melee: Anything that you shouldn't use in a gun fight, but try to anyway. Fists, monkey wrenches, knives, stuff like that. Special: Anything that does damage and doesn't fit in any of these categories. It's pretty rare, and the only thing that comes to mind is the Spy's Sapper. Not a Weapon: Most commonly, these are healing items and whatnot, such as the Pain Pills from Left 4 Dead. This concludes this list of fatal junk. As I finished that list, I had exactly 3000 words to go. Alright! Awesome! Amazing! Astounding! Uh, aardvark! Aw, it looks like I'm out of A words. Hey, that gives me an idea... ...And now, I present to you people: The Red Snifit's Alphabet: Probably a Children's Book: A is for antique, you old type thing! B is for baroque, just like this incredibly fun post! C is for charisma, a somewhat import stat! D is for demons, all six of you! E is for enigma, for I have fury! F is for fraternize, a common source of not Greek tragedies! G is for gurgle, because plop plop fizz fizz! H is for homogeneous, my favorite kind of genius! I is for irking, which defines today quite decently! J is for Jjaro, because two j's are better than fun! K is for kilobyte, a lame villain that looks like cpu! L is for Lama, which is not related to the alpaca! M is for Mario, probably the second most powerful fat man! N is for nap, which I will take right now! Ah, what a nap! O is for oh no, somebody took my spot again. Bah, I'm done; by my count, I got to 3311 words. Woo. :| |
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Or someone will post like "a I a I I a a a I a I I a a I I" 
Then I did the 384 word post in 15 minutes, which wasn't bad ... but at the same rate, the next amount (12288) would take 8 hours 
