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Jul - Projects and Creations - Spontaneous! New poll - New thread - New reply
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LadySTRiPES
Member
Level: 28


Posts: 125/148
EXP: 122872
For next: 8466

Since: 07-23-09

From: Turn Around.... slooowly...

Since last post: 12.2 years
Last activity: 10.4 years
Posted on 10-19-09 10:15:52 PM Link | Quote

This poem I wrote on the spot for a writing contest on Gaia because I was tired of relying on prewritten crap about the guy I like. This may possibly be in a poetry slam later on, so tell me what you think!
-------------
Spontaneous!
What can you think
And pull out of the air?
Think it quick
People are waiting there
Spontaneous!
Hit
e
n
t
e
r
a few times
Doesn't matter if it rhymes
It represents something...
Right...?
Spontaneous!
What can you rhyme on the spot?
Cause you have nothing to give
Cause you've given a lot
The folders are empty
Except for what you dare not show
Spontaneous!
It's your only way to go!
Spontaneous!
How fast can you think?
In five minutes?
Will it take you ten?
Spontaneous!
Just type it out
Space it out
Feel it out!
No time for metaphor
No time for simile
Just rush and rush and rush and rush
Don't wonder if you're writing hyperbole!
Just write
Just think
Don't think
Write!
Spontaneous!
Now is your time
Win it big
Can you make it?
Never forget
How fast to time
wpm
Doesn't matter
Think slow
Type fast
Doesn't matter
Spontaneous!
Finish it
Now
Finish
Fast
Done.
Spontaneous!
Mini-Moog

Level: 29


Posts: 154/159
EXP: 135633
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Since: 10-12-09


Since last post: 12.3 years
Last activity: 11.8 years
Posted on 11-08-09 08:57:51 PM Link | Quote
Feels like this could make for interesting lyrics to a song. Heh.
The only line I had any particular issues with was 'What can you rhyme on the spot?' because it felt like it broke the flow a little. Other than that, this is quite interesting, and I like it.
Bukkarooo
User
Level: 12


Posts: 20/23
EXP: 7443
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Since: 11-03-09


Since last post: 12.4 years
Last activity: 12.4 years
Posted on 11-09-09 05:39:53 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Mini-Moog
Feels like this could make for interesting lyrics to a song. Heh.
The only line I had any particular issues with was 'What can you rhyme on the spot?' because it felt like it broke the flow a little. Other than that, this is quite interesting, and I like it.

agreed completely with Moog. I think that one line could just be changed to "Can you rhyme on the spot?" and fit much better.

I liked it, had a nice rhythm and was interesting to read.

"Just write. Just think. Don't think, write!"
^probably my favorite part of it. not quite sure why, though
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Jul - Projects and Creations - Spontaneous! New poll - New thread - New reply


Rusted Logic
Acmlmboard - commit 47be4dc [2021-08-23]
©2000-2022 Acmlm, Xkeeper, Kaito Sinclaire, et al.

30 database queries.
Query execution time:  0.116439 seconds
Script execution time:  0.004475 seconds
Total render time:  0.120914 seconds


TidyHTML vomit below
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line 290 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
Info: Document content looks like HTML5
Info: No system identifier in emitted doctype
Tidy found 89 warnings and 0 errors!


The alt attribute should be used to give a short description
of an image; longer descriptions should be given with the
longdesc attribute which takes a URL linked to the description.
These measures are needed for people using non-graphical browsers.

For further advice on how to make your pages accessible
see http://www.w3.org/WAI/GL.
You are recommended to use CSS to specify the font and
properties such as its size and color. This will reduce
the size of HTML files and make them easier to maintain
compared with using <FONT> elements.

You are recommended to use CSS to control line wrapping.
Use "white-space: nowrap" to inhibit wrapping in place
of inserting <NOBR>...</NOBR> into the markup.

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