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Luca
350
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Posted on 01-24-09 12:50:11 PM Link | Quote
It's been a while since I've typed out a story... I feel like conveying this idea.

_________________________________________________

It was an average day in Dimmsdale. Except for one thing. "Ah, good morning Cosmo! Wanda!" A happy Timmy Turner sprang out of bed, he then sets up a boombox, flipped his hat, then began to breakdance on the floor. Cosmo and Wanda woke up on the spot and put up disco lights to accompany him. They appear next to Timmy and clapped for him. Cosmo smiled to him and asked, "Hey, Timmy! What's the occasion? Is it National Disco Dance Day?" He switched to his platform suit. "Because I am about to get boogy!" Timmy shook his head at him, still smiling cheerily. "No, it's my 14th Birthday! I'm basically an adult in most countries other than America!" Both Cosmo and Wanda had a barely noticable hesitation before they both cheered him on. Timmy walked out of his room down to the main room. He then sees his parents. They both cheer for him, "Happy birthday Timmy!" His dad then takes out a gigantic paddle. "Now that you're an adult in most countries outside of America, we decided to give you your birthday lickings!" Timmy then stared for a bit before making up his excuse. "Can it wait until later? I kinda have to go to school. But afterwards I'd... I'd love to! Bye!" In a rush, he walked out of the door to the bus. LAter, he arrived to his science class, once again the Evil Mr. Crocker was assessing yesterday's homework with less than tasteful results. He passed out papers with big fat F's to the class. "F, F, F, F, FAIL, I mean F, aaaand... Turner, you get an A+!" Timmy looked at his paper, then to Crocker in confusion. "Uh, Mr. Crocker, are you alright?" He then looks back to him. "Oh, I'm alright. Since you are now an adult in most countries other than America I respect you more! Now, POP QUIZ!" Timmy thought in his mind, that this has got to be the best birthday ever.
Fiercedeity1994
Member
Level: 13


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Posted on 01-25-09 11:19:00 PM (last edited by Fiercedeity1994 at 01-25-09 08:20 PM) Link | Quote
that's pretty spot on. you pretty much nailed the personalities of cosmo, wanda timmy and everyone else.

also i like the Gag, the whole "Being an adult in every country but America" that's pretty good, because in just about every Episode, they make a silly gag like that. also, I could really see the whole thing as well. I've watched every Episode of that goofy TV cartoon. that was pretty good for cartoon writing.

4 stars on the episode, 5 stars on the personalities and wordings.
Sponty
Part boy, part car; Boycar, Protector and King of Chilladelphia
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Posted on 01-26-09 07:41:21 PM Link | Quote
Yea, that is spot on with the personalities of the characters.
I would've liked it a bit longer, but it's more or less just an introduction.

____________________
minimaster58
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Posted on 01-26-10 07:38:35 PM Link | Quote
Very good but Wanda didn't seem to have an active role. 4 and a half out of 5.
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Rusted Logic
Acmlmboard - commit 47be4dc [2021-08-23]
©2000-2022 Acmlm, Xkeeper, Kaito Sinclaire, et al.

28 database queries.
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Script execution time:  0.006550 seconds
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The alt attribute should be used to give a short description
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see http://www.w3.org/WAI/GL.
You are recommended to use CSS to specify the font and
properties such as its size and color. This will reduce
the size of HTML files and make them easier to maintain
compared with using <FONT> elements.

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Use "white-space: nowrap" to inhibit wrapping in place
of inserting <NOBR>...</NOBR> into the markup.

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