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Tarale
Catgirl
C:\ DOS
C:\ DOS RUN
RUN DOS RUN
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Posted on 02-09-18 07:58:25 PM Link | Quote
If you're anything like me, you have a lot of things you beat yourself up over. It might be your appearance, your skills in a particular area, something about your personality, a bad habit. Whatever it is, that critical little voice in your head won't let you have any rest over it.

For me, there are plenty of things I could be kinder to myself about. My weight is a big one. I've made huge strides in recent years to accept that I'm always going to be big. But I still wish I wasn't, and I still have moments where I look in the mirror and will heap scorn on myself. I'm still trying to lose weight.

I'm also down on my skills in web design, after they've stagnated for years. Work didn't challenge me to keep improving or to stay up to date with things, and it's all lapsed. Even when I was at my best, I was already full of imposter syndrome, and now it's even worse. And I have a tendency to compare myself unfavourably to people who ARE staying current in skills… like many of you.

And finally, the little voice in my head isn't good at letting me rest. There's a lot of stuff I need to do, but I could be a little gentler with myself. Some things are not going to explode if I have a little break from time to time.

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Tarale.net
Narumi

Cheep-cheep
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Posted on 02-09-18 08:25:43 PM Link | Quote
I could be kinder to myself over the fact I also have weight issues that I'm trying my hardest to fix.

There's the perfectionist in me who wants things to be absolutely perfect with projects. Then when it comes to reality, it just shows up nowhere near what I expected it to be.
RanAS
Member
Level: 55


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Posted on 02-09-18 11:17:36 PM Link | Quote
I sometimes feel like there's more topics I should be learning about, more tasks I should be doing, more people I should be talking with, more projects I should be doing or working on, more games I should be playing, etc. etc. etc.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm not doing enough things in general. Usually it's a temporary feeling, and focusing on a specific project for a day seems to take care of it...until I get reminded that there's more stuff to do. Weirdly, I seem to be more productive in general on days where I'm more relaxed and not actually worrying about all this.

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"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear." --Ram Dass
Lunaria

Moon Bunny! :3
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Posted on 02-09-18 11:25:56 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Tarale
And I have a tendency to compare myself unfavourably to people who ARE staying current in skills… like many of you.
If it makes you feel any better, I kinda just lost most of my skill in web design since I never do it. Like, I would update my layout to something new that I actually want, but I don't really remember enough about how this works that I could competently make something. :p


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Sanqui
2060
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Posted on 02-10-18 12:45:32 AM Link | Quote


*Sanqui flops, wings involved.

level 75

exp 3765078

exppct 64.3%

numposts 1683

 
Sunk time, missed opportunities. That's what I stab myself with.

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In our brief lives,  •  we've managed to meet.  •  Treasure this gift,  •  this precious time that we have.        
Xkeeper

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Posted on 02-10-18 03:13:21 AM Link | Quote
please stop stabbing yourself.

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(Lv 242 with 221862472 EXP)
Rambly

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Posted on 02-10-18 03:39:07 AM Link | Quote
oh, god, is there anything i don't self-flagellate horribly over

just earlier tonight i was beating myself up over not being able to understand git/github and making some mistakes along the way. the worst part is i'm technically right in that i did mess up (i could have been more reserved about making commits) but i haven't been able to just tell myself "okay, i'll learn from those mistakes" like a normal person. my brain just jumps to "i'm too stupid and my brain can't adapt to new things because it's a garbage brain"

i'm also constantly trying to shut my brain up when it says nobody likes me because i'm inherently uninteresting and uncultured and not very smart. i've been reluctant to share my interests in the past because i'm worried my tastes aren't hip or developed enough or on the flipside that they'd weird people out.

i've gotten better overall at having more control over my thoughts and being able to say "well, that's not automatically true" to w/e parts of my brain are telling me bad stuff, but i still struggle sometimes :x

Originally posted by Sanqui
Sunk time, missed opportunities. That's what I stab myself with.
this too, a lot. sometimes it helps to tell myself that there was nothing super important that i really missed and i can pursue anything i want to at any age, but sometimes that just doesn't work and i ruminate forever about the stuff i wish i'd done earlier in life

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devin

Yoshi
i'm mima irl
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Posted on 02-10-18 04:24:59 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rambly
not being able to understand git

You can just say "using git"

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Tarale
Catgirl
C:\ DOS
C:\ DOS RUN
RUN DOS RUN
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Posted on 02-10-18 05:43:48 AM (last edited by Tarale at 02-10-18 05:44:37 AM) Link | Quote
I don't understand git
and I can't exit vim

I need that mug that has all the commands on it.

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Rambly

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Posted on 02-10-18 10:22:59 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Tarale
I don't understand git
and I can't exit vim

the first time i used git (2 days ago) and i had to put in my first commit message it brought up vim and it was just like "oh lord" and i had trouble getting out of it because it'd been a while

at least on a fundamental level i understand git's basic functionality even if dealing with trying to figure out little things stresses me out

but vim is literally beyond me; i vaguely remember that j is down in it for some reason (i think all the arrow directions are on the same row?) and what :q! does (I Can Exit Vim) and that's literally all. i've been told it's ultimately more productive if you get used to it, but i've never had the patience to learn it, tbh

i literally just use nano and the first thing i did when i exited vim was git config --global core.editor "nano" because i am fake at computers

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RanAS
Member
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Posted on 02-10-18 10:33:46 AM Link | Quote
I always use GitHub's actual website to manage this stuff, and sometimes it's not the most efficient at it. A bunch of commits are just me opening and closing pull requests, on my own code (why do I have to do this GitHub, why).

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"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear." --Ram Dass
BatElite
Member
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Posted on 02-10-18 03:16:25 PM Link | Quote

I somehow enjoy drawing despite the fact that every time either the process is slow and hell or the drawing itself is fun but then the result feels like it's too shit to share.

I feel like I often don't do enough, drawing or otherwise. In regards to physical appearance, I've been not happy with my weight but that's subsided mostly. I still don't like the lower half of my face though.

I also have fun times with regretting stuff I've posted both here and on Mastodon. Here's it's not quite as bad since I can just ignore a thread for a while. It's usually dumb stuff and bad jokes; I don't think I've deleted anything of any substance until today (when it turned out I did make a mistake.)

A lot of stuff I can let go, but not saying something dumb to someone a month ago. And still I keep doing it.

Also, I strongly dislike how indecisive I am with most things.

____________________
"Rusted old machines should stay home and play with their toasters!"
Xkeeper

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Posted on 02-10-18 07:39:42 PM (last edited by Xkeeper at 02-10-18 07:40:37 PM) Link | Quote
Originally posted by Tarale
I don't understand git
and I can't exit vim


Exiting vim is easy; just unplug the computer.

(※ This method may take a while on certain devices.)

____________________
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Rusted Logic
Acmlmboard - commit 47be4dc [2021-08-23]
©2000-2022 Acmlm, Xkeeper, Kaito Sinclaire, et al.

32 database queries, 3 query cache hits.
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Script execution time:  0.028901 seconds
Total render time:  0.123566 seconds


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line 428 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
line 457 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
line 491 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
line 517 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
line 554 column 27 - Warning: <nobr> is not approved by W3C
Info: Document content looks like HTML5
Info: No system identifier in emitted doctype
Tidy found 262 warnings and 0 errors!


The alt attribute should be used to give a short description
of an image; longer descriptions should be given with the
longdesc attribute which takes a URL linked to the description.
These measures are needed for people using non-graphical browsers.

For further advice on how to make your pages accessible
see http://www.w3.org/WAI/GL.
You are recommended to use CSS to specify the font and
properties such as its size and color. This will reduce
the size of HTML files and make them easier to maintain
compared with using <FONT> elements.

You are recommended to use CSS to control line wrapping.
Use "white-space: nowrap" to inhibit wrapping in place
of inserting <NOBR>...</NOBR> into the markup.

About HTML Tidy: https://github.com/htacg/tidy-html5
Bug reports and comments: https://github.com/htacg/tidy-html5/issues
Official mailing list: https://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/public-htacg/
Latest HTML specification: http://dev.w3.org/html5/spec-author-view/
Validate your HTML documents: http://validator.w3.org/nu/
Lobby your company to join the W3C: http://www.w3.org/Consortium

Do you speak a language other than English, or a different variant of
English? Consider helping us to localize HTML Tidy. For details please see
https://github.com/htacg/tidy-html5/blob/master/README/LOCALIZE.md