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Jul - General Chat - Gifting New poll - New thread - New reply
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BatElite
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Posted on 09-04-18 06:06:22 PM Link | Quote

For some reason a few days ago my mind drifted onto the topic of gifts. I've drawn and written a bunch of stuff for people over the last 10 or so months, usually in bursts? I've written about it before (beware, that discusses NSFW stuff too) but the short of it is that I make gifts as a form of affection to people. I can write oddly well and I can draw well enough.

I know birthdays and certain holidays are the usual times for these, and although I happily go along with them I'm not exactly thrilled that things generally come down to "here's stuff I like go spend money for me". There's not much personal going on. We used to attach rhymes with some of the gifts on one holiday. Maybe it's a different category of things to the spontaneous stuff.

So I'm a bit curious if other people here do much in the way of gifts and why? I know not everyone is capable of making their own stuff, but I'm surely not the only who does these kinds of things on their own accord? Maybe gifting stuff you bought but outside of the usual circumstances?

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Posted on 09-04-18 06:11:30 PM Link | Quote
I don't really do gifts ... I fall under the "can't really make anything" section. Sometimes I'll look into things for old games if someone asks, but I don't think that's really counted as a gift, since there's nothing to get out of it other than maybe a fun fact or two.

Even beyond that, most things are by request. If someone needs something, I'll try to help, like with web hosting or needing some money or something, but even that doesn't feel like a gift per se.

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Tarale
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Posted on 09-10-18 03:13:36 AM Link | Quote
I recently drew something as a gift, but generally I am not a good gift giver. SOMETIMES something will jump out at me as being perfect for a person, and I'll get it, and sit on it for months.

But most of the time, Christmas and birthdays draw nearer and I become super super anxious about what to get or what to do.

I do know I'm not drawing any more shit for my niece or nephew, as my sister-in-law just kind of threw the last (expensively framed!) piece--that was specifically requested--in the garage.

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Peardian

  
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Posted on 09-11-18 12:23:04 AM Link | Quote
Similar to Tarale, I'm not very good at picking out gifts. Sure, I can make some dumb drawings, but nothing I'd really consider a real gift. Nowadays, I just stick to funding gift ideas thought up by other family members.

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Tarale
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Posted on 09-11-18 12:38:16 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Peardian
Similar to Tarale, I'm not very good at picking out gifts. Sure, I can make some dumb drawings, but nothing I'd really consider a real gift. Nowadays, I just stick to funding gift ideas thought up by other family members.

It's funny, some people say they want drawings as a gift, but when they receive them they are all "meh". You can spend days working on something for someone and they'll just be like 'oh uh thanks i guess'.

ok i might be a bit madder about the unicorn drawing than I thought

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Posted on 09-11-18 02:05:22 AM Link | Quote
I usually only give gifts to my family, and maybe participate in a Secret Santa program where I design and send out cards with drawings on the inside.

I don't really give anything to friends, although that mostly boils down to how much disposable income I have (which for the past 4 years, hasn't been much other than the two months a year that I get an "extra" pay that I can use for whatever for the most part.)

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Posted on 09-11-18 04:49:26 AM Link | Quote
I've gotten a few pieces of art as a gift and I never know how to feel about it, because it feels undeserved more than anything. I appreciate the things I get, but I don't always have the ability to really express how I feel in a meaningful way, especially online.

As for getting other gifts, I appreciate them, too, but they tend to just accumulate. Not out of dislike or anything, but I just don't really have the... time any more? I barely have enough time for things I really want to do myself as it is, and in some ways getting a gift can be kind of detrimental — it feels like you're obligated to enjoy whatever it is you're given, even if you're in buried in some other stuff or just not able to at the time.

I guess at some level it also just starts to feel like material gifts like that are ... I don't really know how to put it. Like, less desirable than just having a nice conversation with someone. Maybe I'm just weird.

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Xenesis

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Posted on 09-11-18 09:57:45 AM Link | Quote
My wife keeps reassuring me that I'm really good at gift-giving, but the problem is that choosing gifts for people is a bona-fide anxiety-attack trigger for me. It makes Christmas super stressful for me as I've got to plan to minimise how many anxiety attacks I have to actually get all my socially obligated gift-buying done.

As far as receiving gifts goes, I love thoughtful presents, even if they're not lavish or expensive or anything. I've really enjoyed receiving art and whatnot for the last few years, I've got some great pieces from people.
mycophobia

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Posted on 09-11-18 04:11:24 PM Link | Quote
i get people candy and a gift card and they like it

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Posted on 09-11-18 04:50:31 PM Link | Quote
I'm not good with gifting, that is the choosing portion of gifts. Why? Because it's always difficult to find the right gift for them.

Like a couple others said before, I do appreciate the gifts that I get.
Tarale
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Posted on 09-11-18 09:25:59 PM Link | Quote
The point about *receiving* gifts is a really good one. I have trouble with that one too. Like, I have a very small little house, and I sometimes receive such utter shit. I usually tell people that quality chocolate is enough for me unless something is REALLY good. Or I'll request specific things that I actually NEED. Although it doesn't excite people much to buy me a spatula as a gift…

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Posted on 09-11-18 10:19:36 PM (last edited by Xkeeper at 09-11-18 10:19:58 PM) Link | Quote
Well, you can't exactly expect a spatula to flip your lid. A pancake, on the other hand...

If someone must get me a gift, I just tell them to get me money. Not a gift card or anything, though, because that's just a waste.



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Posted on 09-12-18 04:29:25 AM Link | Quote
UESCTerm 802.11 (remote override)
044 05.10.2337

did someone say gifting spatulas

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Posted on 09-12-18 05:51:09 AM Link | Quote
I knew exactly what I was getting when I clicked that and I was not disappointed.

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lizardsquid

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Posted on 09-14-18 04:37:46 AM Link | Quote
I seem to be good with receiving gifts.... unless it's a gift giving occasion like my birthday or christmas, then I just feel guilty!

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Higsby

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Posted on 09-14-18 07:30:44 PM (last edited by Higsby at 09-20-18 02:10:52 AM) Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
Sometimes I'll look into things for old games if someone asks, but I don't think that's really counted as a gift, since there's nothing to get out of it other than maybe a fun fact or two.
Personally I think this is really neat. It seems like it's common for people to look down on their own skills as insignificant or not really that amazing, but if someone came to me and said "hey, for your birthday I looked into X game that you like and dug up some fun facts", I'd be super happy with that. It's something that you can do that certainly not everyone can!

Even beyond digging through games, everyone has something that they're good at, so if a present is "I drew X, I translated X, I made X, I discovered X, I wrote X for you, etc" then that really means a lot more to me than "I spent money on X item which you may or may not need but you know, commercialism and all so here you go".

Overall I'm really not a fan of the secrecy that exists around gifts. If a present is going to be something that's bought, then I'd prefer if people discuss what kinds of things they need or are interested in at the moment, rather than having to try and guess and making me wonder if what I got was appropriate. I kind of like giving money in a card or including it along with some small trinket because then people can buy whatever they want, although I know that comes across as super lazy. It eliminates the possibility of buying someone something they don't need/want though, and I'm always happy to receive money because there's always something it can be used for.
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Posted on 09-18-18 06:14:42 AM Link | Quote
Yuu (likely not the ONLY one..)
< no further information >
Personally, most of any gifting I've ever done has just been things I've made or gotten myself like drawings and other small art or money. I've never been very good at picking out specific things I think someone may like so I just like to do things a slightly different way.

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Posted on 09-20-18 08:02:43 PM Link | Quote
I don't usually have the money to go out buying gifts as much as I like, but when I do, I'm REALLY good about finding good stuff for people.

I tend to like to do little things mostly. Like, sometimes I'll get my roomie his favorite candy, or I might surprise treat someone to a thing they like. It depends on how much I have on hand and if I can spare it.

Makes me feel good. :3

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BatElite
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Posted on 09-24-18 09:52:42 AM Link | Quote

I should add that I'm pretty terrible at birthday and similar stuff. If people here didn't make lists of things they want (which I'm also terrible at writing) I'd be screwed.

I suppose it helps that my art is digital (or at least photographed and sent like that.) so the most space it takes up is a few MB. Or just a message on discord or mastodon that will get buried in time...

If you ask me my drawings are not all that technically great but people like them. I think that's more or less what matters, even if it might make me more conceited than I have a right to be.

Receiving stuff is largely a formality for the most part on birthdays and the like. Otherwise I barely have received things. I don't often have much to say and I'm sadly bad at showing gratitude.

I do like try guessing at what people like and thus being secretive about it. That's in respect to the drawing.

Thanks for all your replies so far~

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