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11-15-18 06:35:46 PM

Jul - Innocent Town - Have you ever thought about being another gender? New poll - New thread - New reply
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You know, somethin' else.
Not at all
 
4.3%, 2 votes
Maybe once or twice
 
17.4%, 8 votes
Every now and then
 
30.4%, 14 votes
Tons, like, daydreaming about it level
 
15.2%, 7 votes
I AM the other gender
 
32.6%, 15 votes
Multi-voting is disabled. 46 users have voted.

sofi

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Posted on 01-28-18 03:13:55 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
thermolabile? when combined with dihydrogen monoxide?.

hydrothermal reaction
devin

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Posted on 01-28-18 04:12:46 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
the good news is that if you have Feelings™ but are not entirely ready to dive into the pool you can comfortably settle with genderfluid/nonbinary status and be whatever weird amorphous gender blob you feel fits you best at any given moment

or if you're like me and just prefer apathy over effort and self-reflection
Xkeeper

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Posted on 01-28-18 05:49:51 PM Link | Quote
why not both
Octangula

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Posted on 01-28-18 11:06:36 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Lunaria
I don't get all this egg talk, and it also makes sound like it's my fucking choice that I'm in the state I am in currently, and not freaking horrible hoops you need to jump through to get help in this freaking country.


I firmly believe that transition is not a choice. A friend of mine insists on correcting that to "not a meaningful choice". On reflection, I think we're both right, but in different ways.

And yes, it's incredibly fucked up that the so-called "experts" have gathered an entire army of gatekeepers, for the sole purpose of hurting people who feel compelled to make changes in their lives...

I don't know if I'm entirely a fan of the egg metaphor either. It feels very... dismissive of the fact that gender feelings are incredibly complicated, and that some people can take years to get to the point where they're ready to other people (or themselves, in some cases) that something needs to change...
Rambly

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Posted on 01-29-18 09:52:36 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Octangula
I don't know if I'm entirely a fan of the egg metaphor either. It feels very... dismissive of the fact that gender feelings are incredibly complicated, and that some people can take years to get to the point where they're ready to other people (or themselves, in some cases) that something needs to change...

oh, i'm not necessarily that fond of the term "egg" as a term used seriously to describe others, and i'm actually sympathetic to peoples' need to take things at their own pace. i was really strongly in denial, even on-and-off, for many years, and it took me forever to admit to myself "okay, i'm definitely trans, and not doing anything about it is severely impacting my life and my mental health in a really strongly negative way". self-describing as an egg i think is fine, tho, either if you're in a questioning period and just being goofy or you're certain you're trans but you're speaking retrospectively.

anyway, yeah. i only made that post because i am at the point in my life where i finally know for certain that i'm a trans woman, and then to be looking back at someone who's so strongly and so obviously in denial is genuinely interesting to me. having the vantage point that i do, knowing everything that was going on in my head at the time makes it really, really obvious, but i'm definitely not saying that everyone who said things like i did is necessarily trans and in denial.
rakiru
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Posted on 01-29-18 02:16:29 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rambly
anyway, yeah. i only made that post because i am at the point in my life where i finally know for certain that i'm a trans woman, and then to be looking back at someone who's so strongly and so obviously in denial is genuinely interesting to me. having the vantage point that i do, knowing everything that was going on in my head at the time makes it really, really obvious, but i'm definitely not saying that everyone who said things like i did is necessarily trans and in denial.

Yeah, this. It can be like seeing yourself 6 months in the past, and, at least for me, it's sometimes incredibly frustrating thinking back on things in my life that should have made it incredibly obvious, but I was so far in denial (and sometimes just completely lost, since there's really no education on this stuff) that I ignored it, so it can be easy to let those feelings slip over to other people a little. It is of course an incredibly complicated and confusing time, that can only really be handled by the person going through it, so my egg post was mostly in jest, but partly just at previous me.
Gabu

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Posted on 01-31-18 07:04:10 PM Link | Quote
I honestly couldn't find an option that accurately describes my situation. Like, a halfway-type of thing. So I picked the tons option.

I mean, I don't think about it A LOT a lot, but I think about it often enough that it seems more serious than the next-highest option.
a tiny fairy

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Posted on 02-06-18 01:48:42 AM Link | Quote
I'm not really sure how to vote here? I pretended I was a girl for a couple years but I don't think I or anybody else seriously believed it. I've ID'd as genderqueer for as long as I knew that word existed, and I can't really point to any part of my life and say there was a meaningful "before".

I'm not trans and I sure as hell ain't cis, gender is a fuck
Kazinsal
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Posted on 02-06-18 05:04:07 AM Link | Quote
I've thought about it a few times. Mostly in the form of "if I woke up one morning and found myself a girl I wouldn't bother trying to reverse that".

I have had friends and more in the greater trans community for half my life at this point. I've been to the brink and back with some of them. I guess I know kind of what some of them have felt and it's not some unnatural feeling to me.

Gender is a strange thing. Sexuality equally so, if not more.
BatElite
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Posted on 02-11-18 06:13:09 PM Link | Quote
Yeah, I've been having thoughts on and off. Lately not so much though. When it has come up my reactions have varied from curiosity to indifference, and I'm not really sure what to think about it all. I've not ascribed to much in the way of masculinity or femininity lately anyway.

Sorry if I'm being vague, but I feel like I'm going to cause some heads meeting desks repeatedly if I elaborate my thoughts much. Might be my apologetic mood right now.
a tiny fairy

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Posted on 02-12-18 01:59:25 AM Link | Quote
I don't think anyone would mind if you wanted to elaborate, especially here.

Or if you like, my DMs are open on discord. I'd love to chat.
Xkeeper

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Posted on 02-13-18 03:08:35 AM (last edited by Xkeeper at 02-13-18 03:09:50 AM) Link | Quote
Originally posted by BatElite
Sorry if I'm being vague, but I feel like I'm going to cause some heads meeting desks repeatedly if I elaborate my thoughts much. Might be my apologetic mood right now.

gender is a giant amorphous blob of bullshit and it's totally ok for it to take as long as you need to turn your thoughts into meaningful expressions, or failing that express how difficult it is to ascribe meaning to your feelings.

unlike society at large most of us here recognize gender is far more complex than on-off


e: there is also no expectation that you must feel a certain way about yourself or have certain outcomes. anything is fine, including not really deciding, or reevaluating how you feel after you think more.
eifie
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Posted on 02-15-18 04:07:12 AM Link | Quote
from the ages of 13-16 i thought very often that i was the wrong gender, often wishing i could be male and experiencing mild gender dysphoria. eventually it faded, i dont really know how or why. i think for me it was just the realization that it was less about gender in the first place, but other forms of dysphoria in general. i still have body dysmorphia but i hardly think twice about gender as it applies to myself anymore. i also noticed that since my girlfriend came to realize she is trans, ive really begun to explore the lesbian side of my sexuality and its rekindled my interest in girly things. it feels really comfortable to present as feminine now, even moreso than it did when we were viewed as a heterosexual couple.
BatElite
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Posted on 04-12-18 03:54:47 PM Link | Quote
After letting it be for a bit I wrote some stuff.

I suppose currently it's undecided.
hydra-calm
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Posted on 07-06-18 05:12:58 AM Link | Quote
Addendum: pretty much every time I read a manga with some kind of crossdressing character I wish I could follow through on this stuff.

Still probably not trans; still want to try.

Guess I see it more as detachment from the self than anything.
marrub

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Posted on 07-06-18 06:23:55 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by a tiny fairy
I've ID'd as genderqueer for as long as I knew that word existed, and I can't really point to any part of my life and say there was a meaningful "before".

I'm not trans and I sure as hell ain't cis, gender is a fuck


This I feel immensely. Nobody's ever not confused me for a girl, so I just roll with it. So.. now I just wear girls clothes, because they're more comfortable (literally and figuratively.)

I couldn't care less for whatever society might expect from me. I'm just a person, y'know? It makes me sad people feel the need to conform so much that they can't even feel like themselves.

Maybe my hippie blood is flowing a bit too hard.
Xkeeper

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Posted on 07-07-18 02:18:21 AM Link | Quote
gender is a huge ball of bullshit and the fact it's basically been reduced to "what parts do you have" / "what parts do you want to have" in most cases is p awful

i long for the day we can escape flesh prisons and be a virtual avatar that can look like whatever the fuck we want all of the time, so we can experiment with who we are and who we want to be


gender is a fuck

amen
Xkeeper

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Posted on 07-07-18 02:19:09 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
it's basically been reduced to "what parts do you have" / "what parts do you want to have" in most cases

not here, mind, i mostly mean in the physical world where half of the population is bigoted assholes
Elemi
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Posted on 07-07-18 04:28:28 PM Link | Quote
I'm now quite happy just saying to people I am a non-conformist in all respects, people should just do the fuck what they want and stop worrying about all the other people who don't believe in progress and that this way might not be THE way.

Used to ID as genderfluid but I think that's not really accurate, more that I just do what I want, act feminine / masculine whenever, but prefer physically looking more on the femme side, I don't really think surgery is something that magically fixes things in the head but some are polar opposite on this opinion, I do employ herbal remedies like PM and Peony.


I am happy so many people here have more advanced ideas about how deep this goes into /
beyond psychology.

I hate labels mind you, just another way to divide and rule.
Rambly

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Posted on 07-15-18 08:27:57 AM Link | Quote
i don't necessarily think labels are bad... describing things isn't a bad thing. but there's a difference between a descriptive label and a prescriptive label


the pathway to personal freedom and self-determination does not run through erasure of difference. division doesn't come from labels existing at all, it comes from assholes who further their own interests by artificially stoking flames of division. it comes from people that want power and choose to create hierarchies and exploit them for social capital. it comes from people that come up with extremely narrow definitions of what it means to be x, then police anyone who doesn't fit that definition


Originally posted by Xkeeper
i long for the day we can escape flesh prisons and be a virtual avatar that can look like whatever the fuck we want all of the time, so we can experiment with who we are and who we want to be


ugh, i feel that. i wish i'd had that option growing up. i experimented a lot by going into girl mode with a few intimate friends, having those friends gender me and call me girl names, doing stuff with my voice, etc. and while all of that filled me with an irrational joy, i still couldn't convince myself that i actually should go any further.


eventually i got the opportunity to get on HRT and i just... took it. and by that i mean my girlfriend pushed me a lot and she basically had to drag me kicking and screaming lol because i was so convinced "well what if i'm just faking it". i didn't know if it'd make me feel worse, or better, but i figured i had to try because nothing was working. but good LORD i'm glad i went. for some reason being on HRT for a while, and having the opportunity to present female IRL, crystallized my convictions that i'm a girl, i'm trans, always have been, etc. i'm way way more confident and self-posessed and just... happier, now.


plus i had the experience of missing E for a week and it made me feel horrible -- i didn't realize how horrible i'd felt the 26 years before HRT until i'd been on HRT for a year and then deprived of it some. good lord that made the contrast so super apparent


it also helps that i've flat-out rejected the idea that my more stereotypically "boyish" interests or personality traits make me less of a girl. i like geeky things like computers and video games and my typing style isn't SUPER girly, and some of my music taste has been lambasted as "guy music" (i'm getting back into prog rock lately lol) and etc. stuff like that used to make me question whether or not i was even a girl. eventually i realized interests and hobbies have fuck all to do with gender and i should just unapologetically like what i like and everyone else can just deal with it





anyways, i hope anyone in this thread who's sincerely questioning finds a pathway to happiness. everyone's pathway is a little different, and it takes experimenting and an open mind and time to figure out what your feelings mean and where they'll lead. i know this is cornball as all hell, but it really is a journey, and nobody but you can tell you what your endpoint is
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Jul - Innocent Town - Have you ever thought about being another gender? New poll - New thread - New reply




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