Originally posted by Bisqwit

---

---

呪われし

デッドリバー

今なお　呪いを

とくもの 待ちわびる

かわ

---

---

Gonna do some disassembly, then try to make this a working sentence:
Norowareshi Dead River - the accursed Dead River
imanao - yet still/even still
noroi wo tokumono machiwabiru kawa - the curse waits impatiently for a special thing (at the river)/(I wonder?).

At the accursed Dead River,
the foul magic that taints
the water lies in wait,
thirsting for an offering.

That's a nice, loose translation assuming that her "kawa" is the river. If that makes sense in context, I'd run with it. :o



____________________

Originally posted by Bisqwit

---

Thanks, but that's about as much sense as I made, which is not much... And I am not looking for a poem to replace the text. I am looking for understanding.

---

I wasn't offering a poem, I was offering a translation that, based on the context given and the text's reading, both makes sense and is readable without accounting for things like character limits or text box sizes. Due to the extreme ambiguity in the word placement (is "kawa" on a newline because it's over the character limit and supposed to be a particle, or is it on a newline because it's a seperate word?), you have to take the risk and interpret the text as well as you are able, regardless of the author's hazy intent, which means making decisions that some would regard as "taking liberties with the text."

All of that said, I did a quick google search and I found this:

---

(...)「呪われしデッドリバー、今なお呪いを解く者待ちわびる川」(...)

---

A Japanese gamer interpreted that "kawa" as "川", solving the ambiguity to some degree. Make of that what you will.

____________________

Originally posted by Bisqwit

---

Thanks. Still, I was not looking for a translation. That part of the process is mine to take, and it depends on available constraints in target media, once I understand the original sentence to begin with.
No, I sought the understanding of how the sentence is constructed and on its grammatical sense.

---

I understand. Just, as a translator -- and in a thread called "Any Japanese text need translating?" -- there's a bit of a natural compulsion to look at the words and translate. Little nuggets of dialogue are like puzzles that beg to be solved.

(Also, I apologize for being a little bit grumpy in my response. It's been a long month, and the way I responded seems a lot harsher than it needs to be, and I'm really sorry about that. D: )

____________________