Rick
M'Lord, there's a knife in your head!
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So I happened to dig through some old papers and I found this list of things that people had tried to post on their insurance forms when they were involved in traffic accidents. This thing is totally old, but still good for a laugh, I hope! This is...I wanna say the mid-90s or something.
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"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions."
"I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it."
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into another vehicle"
"I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."
"I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
"I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."
"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."
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Xkeeper
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Haha, what. Some of these are amazing.
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Nicole
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"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
I like this one. Too many people forget to take into account relativity...
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Taryn
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Originally posted by Rick
"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
Ah, it's those magically appearing stop signs again. You drive up to an intersection and a stop sign just materializes out of nowhere.
Originally posted by Rick
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
How can a car vanish when it was already invisible to begin with? And how did you know that it was an invisible car and not, say, an invisible elephant?
Originally posted by Rick
"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."
Hmmm, I wonder how the door was able to roll down the road. Did it have wheels? What about an engine? Seems weird to drive just a single door around, not attached to a car  
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"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
And what the hell was he even doing there in the first place? Some nerve. 
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Zero One
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And as we fall the spirit carries on,
That a hero'll come and save us all,
As we call the ones we left below,
We all dream of the day we rise above
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"A deer ran into my car!"
"Don't you mean you ran into a deer?"
"No, I mean a deer headbutted my car!"
Ah, Gilmore Girls 
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"The last Metroid is in captivity."
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Rick
M'Lord, there's a knife in your head!
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I have to admit, the funniest one in my list there (at least in my opinion) is the one about the old man. It's just so horrible sounding. XD
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Zild
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Originally posted by OP
I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
That's just funny. Also, fraud. |
Zero One
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Originally posted by Zild
Also, fraud.
I think it's supposed to be a joke about the stupidity of some people.
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"The last Metroid is in captivity."
And yet, the galaxy is STILL fucked.
Thanks Xkeeper, Bagel and Sanky for the help!
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Bagel
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without music life would Bb
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Taryn
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Lyskar
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-The Chaos within trumps the Chaos without-
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| Stats | Time/Date
12-11-10 04:47:24 PM
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| | Metal_Man88's Post | There was, once upon a time, a book about a guy who sent insane letters to Norm's about how he was going to make Gnorm's... ...sadly, I forgot the name of it.
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Nicole
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Originally posted by Bagel
Old but classic anecdotes, thar. I'd originally read them here.
Also computer stupidities.
Yay, Computer Stupidities... at this point I could probably recite half of them by memory, but I still love that site. (still seems to update occasionally, too...)
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Darkdata
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Well, while we are linking interesting failures... Not Always Right is a good laugh.
Also:
> "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
Made me laugh much more than it should of. ____________________ |
Taryn
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Well, it would be mighty strange if they drove into someone else's house, right through the wall I assume, and collided with their own tree growing in the living room, wouldn't it?  Of course it was someone else's tree! ____________________
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Rick
M'Lord, there's a knife in your head!
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Originally posted by Bagel
Old but classic anecdotes, thar. I'd originally read them here.
Also computer stupidities.
Thanks! I'll give those a look-over later. I love this kind of stuff.
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