So. I knew it was this month, but I only just realized it was today.
That's right, I've been here a year now. All in all, I've come to love this place. I like to think of it as my second home, sometimes even my first. It has it's ups and downs, and it certainly has it's share of drama, but what family doesn't? That's one of the main things I've learned this year (online, and off), and it's one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn.
Things have been pretty stressful this year, especially as of late, which is why you've probably noticed the posting slump I've been in. I can only chalk so much of that up to stress. I read a thread, want to post, and then have absolutely nothing to say on the subject. Been like that a lot recently. Also, just an fyi, I think I'm losing my mind. I dunno if things are catching up to me, or what, but things are just eh for me right now.
Maybe a lot of it is me worrying about the future. I've been doing a lot of that recently. I'm turning 18 this month. At one point I thought I had my life figured out, but recently I've began to see what a joke that was. Going on 18. I have no job, so I can't afford a car. I have no car, so I can't get a job. I'm almost out of high school, and honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do without it. I certainly don't want to stay at home any longer than I have to, but it's looking more and more like I'm going to have to stay a lot longer than I wanted.
You guys will probably think this next bit is a little weird, but it's important to me, so I'm going to talk about it. Marching band. Or hell, band in general. I've been in band since 7th grade. It started out as just "Oh, this sounds cool. I'll try it out.", but it became so much more than that. I fell in love with music. I wanted to learn anything and everything about it. I started marching in 10th grade, and it became so much more than that. I became part of a family that I would have chosen over my real one any day, any time. Every spare minute that I could possibly spend with them, I did so. Now that's come to an end as well. It's hard to say goodbye to something you've grown to love and cherish for so long.
This seems to have turned from the reflection it was supposed to be, to a ramble :x
Oh wait, there's another thing I want to talk about that's happened more recently in the past year. I met this girl. Her name's Zoe. Well, actually, I met her last year, but we started 'talking' this year. She's great, and I love her to death, but I'm not sure she knows what she wants at this point. Or, more like she knows what she want, but she's afraid of wanting it. She's been hurt pretty bad before, and I think she's scared the same thing's gonna happen again, or something. Things were going great even a couple of weeks ago. Now, anytime I try to talk to her, she just doesn't seem to want to. I think I'm just gonna give her her space, and if she want anything from it, she'll say so. I mean, she's said so before, but I just don't know at this point.
I'm shutting up now.
Well, one more thing since I preemptively copied it, fully expecting to use it.
Originally posted by 303darthbobby
Hi everyone. Joined up yesterday, so I'll be hanging around, I guess =D
*picks up a cookie from the welcome table* These are free, right?
Take my first post. It's from a year ago today. I actually didn't join up 'yesterday', but Fifo, er FirePhoenix talked me into joining at like 4am. Heh. Looking back, I sure am glad he did, because I sure as hell love you guys.
Ok, seriously. I'm shutting up.
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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
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*throws a cake*
