Fucking hell.

I've been playing Super Metroid on my PSP. Pretty good, really rewards exploration, but some places are just sadistic. Open the door and immediately LOL DRAGON CHEWING ON YOUR HEAD or LOL SKULLFUCKERS GANG-RAPE YOU. One of my favourites: you have to jump across extremely narrow platforms over spikes and plants that chew on you for a while. There are spikes on the ceiling, on the floor, on the walls, everywhere. Enemies fly at you as you jump.
Another: lava rises and falls to just below the platforms you're jumping across. Between the platforms are one or two columns of solid blocks. One row of each is bombable. You have seconds to jump in, bomb-jump your way up until a block explodes, and get back on top of something before the lava rises again. (Or use one of your scarce Super Bombs every time.) As you do this, there are unkillable snake monsters that grab you, pull you in, and suck on you. Some of them are in the lava, so you get pulled in and basically take around 60 damage per second for a while.
Oh, and when you finally get to the end, nearly dead... one of those fucking infinite spawning pipes is hidden right at the exit and a flying fuck will pop up when you're right in front of it and fly at you. Well, at least you can keep killing those bastards to collect energy refills (and get revenge for how much those pipe-dwelling fucks annoy you all the time).

The most sadistic room, however, is much simpler. No hazards at all. Just you, some seemingly harmless critters running around, and a looooong vertical shaft.
How do you climb the shaft? Well, you wall jump. Except, wall jumping is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE. With extreme timing and luck you can pull off as much as two in a row, but it takes three to get to the top. Maybe the emulator's speedhacks throw off the timing, maybe I just suck, maybe this is just another case of the game designers/programmers being cruel bastards, maybe all three, but it'd probably be easier to cover one's self in butter and climb the wall using only your teeth than to wall jump up it.

Anywhere else wall jumping has been needed, I've managed to get away with bomb jumping instead. ( bomb jumping. I've got so many missile and energy upgrades early by bomb jumping. ) But you can only bomb jump so high, and then you just fall, no matter what.
Try it in slow motion? No help with either method. Mash the buttons faster? Slower? Sooner? Later? While chanting demonic incantations? Nothing helps.

So after spending way too long on this, I decide fuck it, and look up a PAR code to just levitate my ass out of that accursed hole. Guess what, the PAR function in the emulator is broken. So is the Game Genie function. And the Raw Code function.
OK, so maybe I can use its speedhack file to apply a Game Genie patch? Nope... it just doesn't work. Why? Who knows. Wouldn't surprise me if the speed hacks didn't work at all; the game does lag at times.
Well, maybe I can hack the level data in a save state and just create some platforms to jump on. Nope. Save states are compressed. Well, I can export to another format. Also compressed. A decompresser exists, but doesn't appear to work.
The last method left to try is patching the ROM itself, and for some reason I have a funny feeling that just won't work. Fuck. One of those things where it's like the universe is just doing everything it can to fuck with you. Chaos my ass.

Oh yeah, and those seemingly harmless critters jumping around in that room? They're not harmless. They make this INCESSANT SQUEAKING NOISE AND DRIVE YOU FUCKING INSANE.

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Originally posted by Shadic

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Uh. Regular Super Metroid?

There's only one point in the game where you actually have to wall jump, and that room has no enemies and is in the bottom of Brinstar.

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Yes, that room. There are no enemies, but the critters that are there won't shut the hell up.

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