Eh.
Just take this however you want. I'm bored...I haven't drama or metaphor boated for years in public so I may as well say something in a 'hidden' forum. I'll try to make it interesting at least. Just grab a cup of something or something good to eat and take a look. Trying to do this for my own benefit of 'short writes' even though they'll likely turn into rants, ravings and dumbassery of someone no better than a fool.
So, keep that in mind.
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A few nights ago I was looking at a few Chess games I had played a while back.
Wow, Chess, yea that sounds interesting today doesn't it? Anymore such a thing would be considered extremely esoteric in terms of mainstream gaming and really boils into something that you can't bring up in normal day-to-day conversation. I'm not exactly sure how I brought it up at work and got a response back from my boss. He actually used to play it quite a bit when he was in the Navy and he mentioned quite a lot about him getting knocked around by his CO and how he'd never beat him. It was nice that he could relate and I like the fact that I can relate to his own calling, WoW. Doesn't mean I'll play it worth a darn though but that's just how things go.
So anyways, I was looking at some of these games I had saved, just browsing through. I've been reviewing these and studying a few bits and pieces in my spare time when I'm not blabbering about things that are popular in conversations. The basic gist of reviewing is to look at something that you've done and not only see the negatives that you've taken in your routine of winning or losing a match but also the positives. A lot of people tend to focus on the negatives so that you'll be well-prepared for the next time...IF they so choose to review themselves. Others, that I've seen play the game, will either write it off as 'I suck at the game' and never play again or have too big an ego to look at the games or even think it matters to them until they finally get it and the epiphany of a century dawns on them...at which point we get back to the initial point of they begin to look at what they do or quit.
I can say I've quit a few things like that. I don't venture out in a few things like I used to. I guess fear of getting my ass kicked by a younger breed is sensible given how prominent people are showing themselves these days and how remarkable it is to see a kid a quarter of my age own ass in something that may have taken me forever to get somewhat decent at. Kind of a downer. But I do take the option of pushing forth with my own thoughts and interests, even if they don't agree with others, because I'd get bored really. I kinda get over that whole losing and winning stuff and just hope I can make a social thing out of it...but unfortunately the whole competitive thing sharply outweighs that for a lot of people and that, in effect, becomes a moot point.
I looked at this one game by an upper-level person that I went against. At the very start, I pretty much bumbled. My opponent was playing a solid defense and wasn't really letting much room for error come into play, he was setting up a strong attack and I was setting up a big hole. Literally. In fact, the analysis on Chessmaster was basically saying the equivalent of 'HOLY SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!' on my piece moves. I admit I felt kind of bad at the complexity of how bad my moves were upon reviewing them.
The thing was, however, I knew the situation I was in at the time of it getting really bad. I knew something had to change. I knew that if I kept keeping up the pieces that I had and trying to hold it all together that the whole game was going to collapse. I would effectively lose and it would get me nowhere so I had to make a sacrificing move or three to get me HOPEFULLY back on the play field. Honestly, most of the moves I made were unwise and not really that good but it was enough to buy myself an opinion and pull myself back in.
After a fairly heated duel and going back and forth I, somehow, clinched a victory for the match. I was actually fairly surprised that I pulled it off because I figured there was no way in hell that I was going to get from a situation I was in to the end of where I stood. My opponent and the situation he had placed me in was a horribly solid defense and mess to weave through...but somehow I had pushed through and taken a victory.
Now, for some, you can expect a n00bish 'o wtf u sux fu' and log off but this one kind of ended in the fashion of the person being let down to the end of wanting to cut off arm to save face. Really felt let down by the loss and, likely, felt stupid for letting the situation slip even though he may or may not have realized that I was really about to take an atomic wedgie to the shitter.
Kind of a downer...but I realized that I was only really looking at one side, myself, and not him. Taking a look at his pieces towards the end, he more or less got into the darn same situation that I had been in. Chessmaster screaming 'holy heck stop that' and placed him in the very same predicament...minus a few pieces, a different perspective on setup and adding on more dumb moves from myself and the opponent as well. The thing that was different was that he continued to build his defense towards that particular point, something I didn't do, and tried to hold it all together. The moves after the fact proved that trying to hold the situation together was not a wise one and it was likely the blunder and situation the cost him the game.
So the negatives were obvious...as Chessmaster points out...however it doesn't go into depth on what the positives were outside of points and no real description otherwise, it remains fairly neutral to negative in that respect so you're limited on that as far as a computer's analysis goes.
I found that the opponent had a strong play throughout. Fairly intelligent and knew how to build from likely years of experience at the game. The only problem was that situation that he put himself in and threw himself into an endless spiral. Instead of getting himself out of it, he just let it continue on and on until it pushed him into the ground and he lost. Had he got over that and attempted to compensate with the same I had done, lose a few pieces to put the situation back together, then I might have been in for a real ride trying to seal the deal.
Perhaps it was too hard of a decision to make? In my case, I was really in a bit of a jam at the very start. I mean how embarrassing is it to lose a match about ten moves in? I was on the way to doing it. Sometimes, though, you just have to have the courage to stand up and see what happens. I put some thought behind it, I wasn't a complete dumbass in making the decision to do what I did, and although it wasn't particularly perfect I did put myself back on even ground. With confidence in myself, I pushed even further until my objective was cleared. The match was won.
So the line is drawn to where you should have a 'stupid moment' and have the courage to charge forth at the cost of your side or 'keep it together' and try to form a plan and move cautiously with wisdom in place. Wisdom or courage.
The Wizard of Oz said they were easy to confuse. A lack of courage can be wisdom. A lack of wisdom can be courage. The negative aspect to just turning the sentences around: Courage is lack of wisdom and Wisdom is lack of courage. To reinforce, however, that courage can actually be a higher form of wisdom. It is synonymous with saying that wisdom can be a higher form of courage...it's situation-dependent but the wise know when to make this call.
Let's apply this: Sure not having the courage to push forward isn't good but my situation isn't that bad, right? I can still get by. I still have the ability to keep doing this.
Now that may be true and that may not be true. I made the decision that it wasn't and changed my mode of attack even though I really didn't want to lose pieces over it. The opponent thought otherwise but I also think that said person panicked. They weren't thinking straight. They were caught in this endless loop that is was going to be the end of everything if they didn't hold their position and put it together. There was no way they could lose anymore because they had absolutely nothing left to give when, on the outside, the opposite was true until they allowed themselves to get into the position that they, ironically, put themselves into even though they didn't want it.
It takes a lot to get yourself out of that spiral in this game. A lot of people would rather just say that 'as long as I don't lose pieces, I'm fine' but then don't realize the position that they get themselves into. When they get to a point where they may better themselves by sacrificing pieces as a means to improve what they are, they get stuck; they don't want to lose what they have. It hurts to much and it sucks for them to realize that they have screwed up. Those who know the opposite, however, how to take a situation that is bad, burn through the pain to get themselves out of it quickly, and 180 it on the opponent, know otherwise.
Now, it isn't universal. Sometimes that courage will just come back, smack you in the face, and you lose in three turns. Such is the folly of human error sometimes. You have to give people credit for trying though when they make it obvious that they know they've made a mistake and they're trying to fix it but they end up tripping over themselves and make it look like a mess. At least, however, they've admitted to the problem and tried...but it isn't ever fatal when they get to that point. They can turn around and try again the next time with that thought in mind and review what they've done as well so that they have the wisdom to have the courage, and vice-versa, to do what they want to attempt.
If they get into a mindset of 'oh I'm going to fail' it will likely be otherwise...but those that try will at least have a fighting shot and sometimes they just might pull it off.
But yea, I should really pick that back up sometime. It's only been months since I went against anyone. Too critical of myself or just too busy with other things I guess. Oh well.
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