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| Posted on 03-12-09 03:23:51 AM (last edited by Rom Manic at 03-12-09 12:30 AM) |
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I noticed recently that, in a more...Pathetic state, you could say, I was ignorant to my own feelings. I didn't care how this one technique worked, as long as it worked. I was wishing people were more like me.
Then I happened to post something rather foolish, and immediately I regretted it. In that instant, all my work had been undone. Being like steel against the harshness of Depression or Anger was my credo, and I had gone and said "Oh, it's OK to be weak,". So I had made a new thread out of anger, questioning why I couldn't feel accepted, or impress anyone there. But it was hopeless, in hindsight. Someone I hold in high regard over there mentioned "Oh, here comes a breakdown," and I just stopped for a second.
Have you ever wondered how Link and Tank used to read the lines of code in The Matrix? It's because they're observing chains of events being linked to one another. But that's not unlike string theory! In my particular string on who I am, I let myself believe "Oh, it's OK to be weak". But coupled with the rest of my strings, the mental projection of who I want to be, it caused a calamity, and I was immediately depressed. The resolution was to observe that very fact. And now understanding it, I've begun to understand how to reverse engineer thought processes.
So, following the same example of reverse engineering thoughts, what do you observe of your own depressive states, if any? And what do you think of the concept in general? Might it be used in Psychology, or is it already used (For those experienced with shrinks)?
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[Posted by Rom Manic]
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Lyskar
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-The Chaos within trumps the Chaos without-
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| Posted on 03-12-09 04:24:20 AM |
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Time/Date 03-11-09 10:24:20pmPosts 2241Days Here 617Level 68 |
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|  | Metal_Man88 |  |  | Local Moderator |  |
You pose an interesting case, for I, too, hardened myself with a vengeance. Although... my ability to be depressed is practically nonexistent due to my optimistic, silver-lining seeking persistence. But I have useful information here.
The anger and hatred serves a defense against depression; it is an empty shell. It can stay right where it is, BUT! You need to fill that shell with the other feelings, lest you implode as you alluded to.
As for the Psycho-analytic method, I have read Freud and Klein, who both give me a quite simple picture.
Anxieties are based on repressed thoughts of the unconscious formed early in childhood and from other deeply marking events. Your fear of weakness and attempts to make something up to remove it, therefore, comes from trying to make real life feelings of stupidity and mistakes to go away via some other object you have brought up to represent all those things you have trouble with.
Rather than make a replacement and try to riddle it with bullets by anger or pseudoscience however, the best path is to seek peace with oneself and try to delve into your dreams and the desires in the back of your mind, attempting to unearth the true cause behind the malfunction--some part of your mind which is intangibly deranging the rest and causing you to feel guilty and depressed.
This, of course, comes from someone who is shielded from depression by an unending source of anger and persistence, as well as being a wacky nutcase, so... take with a grain of salt.
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Deleted User
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| Posted on 03-16-09 12:47:32 AM |
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take with a grain of salt.
What, I can't take something seriously to make a joke? I mean, technically that IS taking a grain, but I do it in a way where I only pretend it gets to me.
You should try it 
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[Posted by Rom Manic]
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Erika
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| Posted on 03-18-09 07:37:33 PM |
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I guess since this is dead and the OP is dead as a doornail... *close-ums*
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