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— FPzero —
9590



Post 2570/9597
Active 5.5 years ago
Posted on 02-14-09 02:49:48 AM Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Viarra
DATE: 2/13/09
SECTION: 03

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
A miserable little pile of secrets.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I want to eat hot eggs.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
breasts

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
The keeper of the banhammer.

5. Pie? (1)


II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
love = rape

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
f(x) = A × sin[ω(x-α)]+C

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
All of them, at the same time.

4. (8)
Shallots

____________________
Darkdata
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Last activity: 11 days
Posted on 02-14-09 03:11:05 AM Link | Quote

University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Darkdata
DATE: 2/00/x
SECTION: C

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
C
2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
C
3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
C
4. Who is the strongest? (9)
C
5. Pie? (1)
C
II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
C
2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
C
3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
C
4. (8)
C
III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
C
2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
C
3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
C
4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
C


IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
C
2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
C
3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
C


____________________
Kirby Mario
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Posted on 02-14-09 04:21:04 AM Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Kirby Mario
DATE: 12/13/0⑨(I do this to the dates I write too)
SECTION: Pothole Field

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
That guy.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I want to eat hot eggs.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
Uhhh... Tits?

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
⑨

5. Pie? (1)
Why, thank you.

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
To cause more problems.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
None.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
They probably already have.

4. (8)
... Fruit?

III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
a) Not enough
b) About 50 feet.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
...

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
Too much, not enough

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
At least three years worth.


IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
Enough to destroy the room. He flew to the next town.

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
A fart?

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
None of them
Kirbynite

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Posted on 02-14-09 04:46:43 AM (last edited by Nanoha Takamachi at 02-14-09 01:50 AM) Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Kirby Neo Nite
DATE: February 13, 2009
SECTION: Neo Grape Gardens

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)


2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)


3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)


4. Who is the strongest? (9)


5. Pie? (1)


II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)







"This test so zetta sucks."


(I wish I didn't leave my tablet at work. I had to do this with a mouse )

____________________
DigitalBasic
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Since last post: 76 days
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Posted on 02-14-09 04:50:56 AM Link | Quote
Kirb! You are supposed to stay in your seat! I mean even Cirno is doing the test!

____________________
Joe
Common spammer
🍬
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From: Pororoca

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 1 hour
Posted on 02-14-09 06:27:50 AM Link | Quote
III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
a) In optimal conditions, 988 km/h.
b) At that speed, wouldn't a crater be more appropriate?

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
Since it's Valve time, it can take however long Fido wants it to.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
I'd say why don't you ask him, but there's no way he's coming back up in any condition to be answering questions.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
He can just use his Sherpa Magic to call up a team of blue whales to do it for him. It doesn't cost him any mana either, unlike summoning the flying goats.



IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
I tried to measure this a couple times, but there are too many trees around where I live that got in the way.

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
I'm pretty sure effusion doesn't apply here. (And if it did, that would be rather painful.)

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
If Bessie is stupid enough to be sampling suspicious chemicals, she might as well drink all of them. (She might not survive long enough if she starts with the HCl(aq), though.)

____________________
キョン
Kyon
— Colin —
Missing: One avatar. Will be restored at some point.

Post 701/10052
Active 8.3 years ago
Posted on 02-14-09 06:56:49 AM Link | Quote
I worked hard on this! Really hard!

Originally posted by Cirvante
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Green Cleric
DATE: The Day of Love and Marketing
SECTION: Cap-1 Man-Rev Gold Agent

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)

A woman who does not have boobies and has a cylindrical object in place of the naughty bits.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)

I really want eight hot and spicy Mexican mamacitas.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)

To opt out of paying for a piece of merchandise.

4. Who is the strongest? (9)

Nobody because everyone who proclaims themselves to be so usually gets humbled at some point or another. It's a cyclical process.

5. Pie? (1)

Cake?

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)

Men only rape other men therefore anal sex is rape.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)

1+2=4.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)

Melissa and odds are she'll get knocked up at 13 when her and a boy break into her mom's liquor cabinet and "experiment" because kids don't know any better these days.

4. (8)

Onion powder.

III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)

a) Very slow since he deployed his parachute.
b) About half a mile since he got hit by an Amtrak train when he landed on the tracks.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)

Impossible to calculate, it all depends if the Steam servers are up at that time.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)

Hydrowhatever force doesn't matter, his lungs were filled with water at the 15 meter mark. He passed away peacefully.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)

Technically it should require a good effort but he has to take his lunch and his union breaks, and lord knows those Sherpas slip out for their illegal Shisha breaks a few times a day.

IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)

Enough soap to cause airports to go on high security due to terrorism concerns, and the guy won't be flying; he'll be shipped off to Gitmo, closed or not.

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)

A burp. It takes you a lot longer to realize that you farted, and at least you can apologize after you burp. You might not want to admit to a fart.

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)

Nickel chloride, although Bessie should be more worried about her eventual cancer as a result.


____________________
Colin's Babble... er, blog.

Tyty

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Posted on 02-14-09 01:31:33 PM Link | Quote
III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)

Unanswerable, we don't know the mass of the skydiver.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)

0 seconds, he stopped time. :O

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)

He wasn't in the water, he skipped his scuba lessons.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)

Well, not much.

The bag is lighter than the gear, and there appears to be a large hole in the bottom.



IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)

I suck at mol questions.... let's see.... Well, he'd go flying pretty far I'd say. 3000 meters?

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)

Fart. Most definitely.

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)

HCL, it's stomach acid. She may get acid reflux though.



____________________
DigitalBasic
Pancakes!
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Posted on 02-14-09 02:10:01 PM Link | Quote
III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
A)Very fast.
B) I wouldn't know. I'm not into that stuff.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
When the Orange Box 2 is released.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
He's Davy Jones. He is going to have to get to his locker somehow.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
Well if it is on a mountain he could get the neighborhood tengu to help.


IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
Explosive soap? Did GIR make his waffles with that?

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
Ewwwwwww

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
What?


____________________
Aerakin
Ye Olde Layout
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From: From the future

Since last post: 8.0 years
Last activity: 1.2 years
Posted on 02-15-09 10:01:45 PM Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: _____________________
DATE: _____________________
SECTION: Magic Arts & Craft

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
I KNOW NOTHING.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I like to eat clients?

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
Nippa~~?

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
It depends on a number of factors, such as the definition of strength. With so little definition in the question, answered in a clear manner is not possible.

5. Pie? (1)
This should be in Maths, I'm afraid. Whoever made this should be fired.

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
It says that "love" is actually a substitute for an exponential (exp(x)) function.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
postday = sin2(x) + cos2(x) * rand(100,1000) + rand(0,1)*1000
More or less.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
Alcohol was involved and the three daughters got knocked up at the same time, more or less. It is unclear who was first in the few seconds between each of them.

4. (8)
Onions are not square.
DigitalBasic
Pancakes!
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Posted on 02-15-09 10:21:04 PM Link | Quote
Psst. Minato.

Onions are roots though.

Square root of onion is still onion.

____________________
Cirvante
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Feel the wrath of eternal damnation please! I would appreciate that very much thank you!
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Posted on 02-15-09 10:33:50 PM Link | Quote
Cirvante-sensei glared at the catgirl.

"'Ey you! No cheating on the test! Do that again and you both FAIL!"

____________________
board2 - Jul - OC ReMix
ReiNi
さよなら＊へヴン
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Posted on 02-15-09 10:39:50 PM (last edited by Reimu at 02-15-09 07:40 PM) Link | Quote
Every of us has a ⑨ inside.
----------------------------
But by that logic... wouldn't the square root of an onion be a square onion?

Onion²...

*Reimu is kicked out for saying that out loud

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Drag
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Posted on 02-15-09 10:47:26 PM (last edited by Drag at 02-15-09 07:48 PM) Link | Quote
973
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Drag
DATE: 15/2/09
SECTION: Aisle 5

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
A pile of highly delicious meat.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I want to eat some cooked unfertilized chicken eggs.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
Watashi wa nihongo ga sukoshi wakarimasu.

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
Cirvante is the strongest-smelling, I'd say.

5. Pie? (1)
8.53973422

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
In order for those statements to be true, Love would need to be the equivalent to Rape, as such, "love is rape" and "rape is love" would be factual statements.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
tan(log(x))

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
Melissa. See question 1 of this math section for explanation.*

4. (8)
sqrt(Onion) => sqrt(Onion) * (sqrt(Onion)/sqrt(Onion)) = Onion/sqrt(Onion)


Psh, easy.

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Posted on 02-18-09 05:08:45 PM Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Tyrant Xkeeper       
DATE: Feb.18 2009          
SECTION: ???               

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
Something that should be thrown into a certain cursed spring. What? I'm not doing that fucking "pile of" joke again.

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
Queso cheese has chips.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
(n.) see also squishies

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
I am. This shouldn't even be a question, the answer is obvious.

5. Pie? (1)
No. Cheesecake is superior.

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
Crowbars are only useful in instances of rape.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
(rand(25, 75) + rand(25, 75) + rand(25, 75) + rand(25, 75) + rand(25, 75)) ^ (1 + (spree / 100))

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
None; they're all robots.

4. (8)
sqrt(onion) = onion grown in a square pot.

III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
a) fast. b) none; he will instead become a pancake and will pop off unharmed. Thank the network censors

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
Normally several minutes, but for comedic effect it will be 4 seconds, incl. shadow and comedic bomb whistle.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
a) who cares, b) trick question; Davy Jones's locker has a spare tank that eliminates the drowning problem.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
3.


IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
Roughtly 7 bubbles worth, and approximately 739.8mph, losing one point in an incredible explosion of red.

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
Actually, it is called the "Mt. Vesuvius", and it is not a gas; it is a mixture of liquids and solids.

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
None of the above; what she really wants is some C3H5N3O9.

____________________
Sukasa

Level: 123


Posts: 688/4326
EXP: 20936862
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Since: 07-07-07


Since last post: 1.1 years
Last activity: 1.1 years
Posted on 02-18-09 07:15:24 PM Link | Quote

Sukasa - Send Private Message

III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10)
Nobody cares unless you brought your webcam.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6)
It happened yesterday.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8)
A) Way too much B) I give it five minutes.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6)
Meh.


IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6)
Youtube link plz :specialed:

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8)
Always the fart.

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10)
I never took chemistry anyways.

____________________
Dan Hibiki
1190
Talks mostly in pictures.

"I dislike the art of fighting, but I want to be the king of fighters!"
Level: 71


Posts: 465/1191
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Since: 07-22-07


Since last post: 11.8 years
Last activity: 3.0 years
Posted on 02-19-09 04:34:38 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Cirvante
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Raoh_________________
DATE: 2-19-08_____________________
SECTION:Balcony __________________

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)
A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk! Have at you!

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
Spanish sucks. English is the only language that is to be spoken in America >8(

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
Japan is full of perverts.

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
Halo. Doesn't afraid of anything.

5. Pie? (1)
Yes.

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)
Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
Trig is gay.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
All of them.

4. (8)
Onions give me gas. Keep them away from me.



____________________
Erika
Catgirl
미안합니다
Level: 68


Posts: 459/1088
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Since: 07-19-07


Since last post: 9.5 years
Last activity: 9.3 years
Posted on 02-19-09 06:48:40 AM (last edited by Erika at 02-19-09 03:52 AM) Link | Quote
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: SATOKO
DATE: 2/19/09
SECTION: N/A

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5)


2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I want to eat hot eggs/testicles (THIS DICTIONARY SAYS TWO THINGS OK)

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
>______> (I'm going to regret this later)

4. Who is the strongest? (9)
Chuck Norris?

5. Pie? (1)
I'll bake it~

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. loves function is to confuse the hell out of you, much like that.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)
Sin. as in Sine on and post (.....oh god that was bad)

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
all of them. at the same time.

4. its root? >__>
Giga

Level: 41


Posts: 195/346
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From: Wood Zone

Since last post: 5.4 years
Last activity: 4.1 years
Posted on 02-25-09 03:32:34 PM (last edited by Giga at 02-25-09 12:34 PM) Link | Quote
Originally posted by Cirvante
University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Giga "the Echidna" Otomia
DATE: February 25/09
SECTION: I live in the Wood Zone. =\

Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man? (5) Do you want the whole poem, or just "A cesspit of hatred and lies"?

2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5) I'm canadian, thanks.

3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5) No idea.

4. Who is the strongest? (9) Cirno. *bows to Cirno*

5. Pie? (1) 3.141592653589793238462...

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8) S'complicated.

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8) Tangent.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8) None, because they're still sperm. They just haven't left his testicles for the amount of years specified.

4. (8) Half an onion seed and half the amount of sunlight, water, and chlorophyll it takes to do photosynthesis, and half the amount of time it takes for the onion to grow.

III. Physics
Short answer, 30 points.

1. If a skydiver jumps off a plane exactly 3600 meters above sea level, a) What is his velocity at the moment he hits the ground, and b) What is the splatter radius of his internal organs? (10) Depends on how much he weighs, and if it's in an anime or not.

2. Fido throws a projectile forward at an upward angle of 42 degrees. How much Valve time does it take for it to circle around the Earth exactly once and hit him in the back of the head? (6) Eighty years.

3. Davy Jones went diving 30 meters below the surface. If the density of water is 1000 kilograms per meter cubed, what is the hydrostatic force exerted on his body, and how long does he have until he realizes his oxygen tank had a hole and drowns? (8) Let's see. 30000 kg/m^3, and I don't know how long.

4. Renowned Sherpa Jambalaya Whachamahoozit is trying to pull 150 N worth of survival gear over a 50m tall precipice. If the rope weighs 0.93 N*m, how much work must Jambalaya exert to pull the bag all the way up? (6) Lots?



IV. Chemistry
Short answer, 24 points.

1. If 9.30 mol C reacts with 7.43 mol NO3 at STP, how much explosive soap is formed, and how far will the poor schmuck fly? (6) I'm gonna say that 8.375 mol NO3C forms, and the person is thrown over 5 metres.

2. Which has a faster velocity of effusion: a burp, or a fart? (Hint: You might want to consider what you ate for dinner last night.) (8) A fart, if all you ever eat is sandwiches and breaded chicken.

3. Bessie's feeling cold and wants a nice warm drink. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of Buttfucknowhere, Alaska and only has five vials of different solutions: NiCl2(aq) 0.400M, NH3(aq) 0.700M, NaOH(aq) 6.00M, HCl(aq) 3.00M, and C6H10(l). Which of them won't cause her a gastric meltdown? (10) NiCl2(aq) 0.400M.

Using my grade 11 knowledge.

____________________
Click here to PM me.
misterj
Member
Level: 32


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Since last post: 11.0 years
Last activity: 10.8 years
Posted on 02-25-09 04:35:17 PM Link | Quote
AE, looks like a fun way to procrastinate from exams right now ;D

University of Jul
College of Derpa
Spokane, Washington

NAME: Mr. J
DATE: 2/25/2009
SECTION: internet
Instructions: Answer each question as clearly as possible and show all your work. If you don't know the answer, make stuff up. Have fun!

I. Philosophy and Language
Short answer, 25 points:

1. What is a man?
This: http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/aaron-rodgers-mustache.jpg
2. Translate the following sentence into English: "Quiero comer huevos calientes." (5)
I love to eat hot eggs
3. What is the meaning of the word "oppai"? (5)
Tit
4. Who is the strongest? (9)
http://www.fantascienza.com/delos/imgbank/79/dirittiumani/tiso/roy-batty.jpg
5. Pie? (1)
Very American

II. Mathematical Reasoning
Short answer, 32 points:

1. If



and

,

what does this tell you about the function of love? (8)

love = infinite rape ????

2. What trigonometric function best represents Jul's activity? (8)

I'm not a qualified expert here.

3. Bobbert has three daughters: Melissa, Melinda and Matilda, ages 13, 15, and 17 respectively. According to Murphy's Laws, which one will get knocked up first? (8)
All 3 at once, by their father.

4. (8)
CNN



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