Rambly

Level: 106

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Since: 07-22-07

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Posted on 06-18-19 09:47:44 AM

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i need to get some stuff out of my system, don't read

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Rambly

Level: 106

Posts: 2209/3083
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Since: 07-22-07

Pronouns: she/her

Since last post: 267 days
Last activity: 251 days

Posted on 06-18-19 10:15:10 AM (last edited by Rambly at 06-18-19 10:27:24 AM)

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Rambly

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Since: 07-22-07

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Posted on 07-19-19 05:13:16 AM (last edited by Rambly at 07-19-19 05:21:06 AM)

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cw: discussion of terror attacks, hate, violence. the recent kyoani attack. you don't have to read it if you do not want to, and please don't if you think it'd harm your mental health. i'm just venting.

posting here again because ugh

i am extremely fucked up over the kyoani arson attack. i probably shouldn't be, whatever, mass murders occur all the time --

wow, i fucking hate that that's my instinct. that i should be jaded towards mass murders because everyone else is, lol! fuck that. i feel as awful over it as i did the other times something like this has happened.

i'm really fucked up over the kyoani arson attack. i feel sick and sad and a pain in my chest, as i usually do in senseless acts of violence. i certainly felt that way after the orlando nightclub shooting, after the billion school shootings, after the bataclan shooting in paris... but it's a little more personal for me, in a weird way because i felt like i knew a lot of the causalities this time... i know i didn't literally know them and i'm not pretending i have some personal connection to them and i can't imagine the loss their families and close friends, other kyoani employees are feeling, but...

i used to be downright obsessed with haruhi and k-on! as a teenager and more recently i grew to love nichijou. i know those series are largely fluffy and stupid and completely brainless but they made me happy and excited when i was younger (and in a weird way, k-on!'s unabashed girliness and cutesiness was a much-needed outlet at an age when i was still a cloistered and relatively girly trans girl -- k-on! was queer art for me and tons of other trans kids change my mind).

and whatever reservations you might have about their content (and they're understandable) as animators there's not many studios that could match them. every single cel felt like it was pored over and trying to communicate something beautiful and picturesque, it's kind of amazing the little animation moments in something like nichijou, the brief frames of expression, the way little individual strands of hair are drawn in k-on!. maybe it's silly but you can really feel that kyoani's stuff is at least a labor of love. and it's the stuff that was communicated in little moments like that that make me feel like i have some connection, that i feel like some of the people impacted by this attack might have imparted some small joy onto me. so when someone attacks literally, the animators, directly, it's... it's just, why? what fucking purpose does that serve unless you're literally a monster? i don't understand it.

it's weird but i feel like a lot of people don't give a shit because they're jaded towards massive displays of violence. and i hate this feeling a lot. like really really deeply hate it.

but EVEN WORSE i see people jumping to the most disgusting possible conclusions about how an event like this was good because they Epic Hate Anime Desu Lol! xD! from OSTENSIBLE LEFTISTS WHO SHOULD ABHOR VIOLENCE (i don't even want to know what peoples' take on this vis-a-vis gun violence, and i don't give a SHIT)

it just fucking infuriates me. i hate it. it disgusts me. there's the actions of someone who might be completely fucked up psychologically or schizophrenic or whatever, and then there's people who as rational actors in their typical frame of mind that validate those actions. they are the lowest scum on this planet, and i hate them deeply.

but the most mundane thing and most common thing i see that i hate is when can't respond with anything other than "i hope that guy gets the death penalty" or "the death penalty is too good for that guy, he should be tortured forever" and i see the cycle of a culture that celebrates violence and stokes the flames of monstrous and despicable behavior in people forever and ever. one that can't respond to anything with anything but violence. is it any fucking wonder people end up that fucked up? is it a question at all? i don't want to admonish people for responding in their own ways; the anger is understandable. but i just... i'm so tired of it. i'm so, so tired.

end.

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Rambly

Level: 106

Posts: 2237/3083
EXP: 12563904
For next: 108039

Since: 07-22-07

Pronouns: she/her

Since last post: 267 days
Last activity: 251 days

Posted on 07-19-19 05:23:40 AM

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ps kyoani paid their animators a living wage which is rare in japan and also nano shinonome is a trans allegory and there's a lot of lesbians and bisexual chars in k-on!. kyoani is queer-friendly and pro-worker. don't argue with me on this because i'm right and i'm not prepared to be proven wrong. thank u thanks ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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