Bumwill Shyguy Level: 20     Posts: 4/82 EXP: 42070 For next: 369 Since: 07-19-13 From: Paris to Berlin and every disco I get in... Infernal FTW! :D Since last post: 8.5 years Last activity: 8.4 years 
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| As you guys should already know, I'm a divorced father of a nine-year-old son. Ok, I didn't tell you about the divorced bit, but never mind, you know now.
I've been divorced for about five years now. I haven't been in any sort of romantic relationship with anyone since, but I had been coping quite well. That's all changed however, as a couple of years ago, someone new stepped into my life. Back in 2010, I had got myself a new job of a support assistant in a school for young adolescents with communication difficulties, and that's when I first met this lady that I intend to talk about in this post (let's just call her EH, those are her enitials). At first, EH would try to avoid me (she hated me back then because I would swear a lot, which I only ceased when I got a extreme scolding from the headteacher/principal of the school mid-2011, nearly losing my job), but then after I settled into my job late 2011, she finally spoke to me. She wouldn't do this often to begin with though, but as time went by, we talked to each other a lot more, and then by July (last year) we were chatting to each other every day at work, and at the end of the month when the school broke up for summer, we exchanged phone numbers. It was at this point when I started to fall in love with her. When we returned to work in September, we somehow became best friends, and we would talk to each other about our lives. Then we decided to meet up outside of work, which we did, in November, to go and watch a film at the cinema. She seemed to enjoy my company, so we decided to meet up again later that month to go bowling. This led to us meeting up a lot more over the months leading up to now (I think the best one was when I took her out for dinner at her favourite italian restruant on her birthday). About a month ago however, the school I was working at had recieved news that it would have to close down at the end of the academic year (well, my colleagues were quite dickheaded), at this point I realised that I really need to tell EH my feelings about her, that I love her, so we can get into a relationship and see each other more often. Don't get me wrong, I was meaning to tell her quite some time ago, but the problem was, that I believe that she would be much better for me than my ex-wife ever was (people even think that me and EH would make a lovely couple), so I've spent most of my time worrying about what would happen if she said no, as my life seems to revolve around her these days. I really wanted to know if she loves me or not, so on the last day of work, I wrote her a letter with my feelings about her inside, and I gave it to her. She read it and told me she would text me later that evening. So now here I was, spending most of the evening lying on the bed with my phone by the bedside, feeling really lonely being the only person in the household (my son was having a sleepover at his friend's house), I was starting to worry that maybe I've said too much in that letter. Evantually she did text me at around 10PM, saying "Thanks for the letter  ".
Although I was relieved that she got back to me, it didn't really go quite as planned. She now knows I love her, yet she hasn't told me if she loves me or not. I've got a really bad feeling about this. EH is a really shy person, but I don't see why she wouldn't tell me that she loves me (if she does) when I've told her that, so it's possibly possible that she doesn't love me, but she doesn't want to hurt me by saying that. I don't know what to do with myself. I would ask her to go on a proper date or be in a relationship but I don't want to sound desperate. Also, we're meeting up again late August/early September, I really don't know if it's going to be safe to hold her hand, give her a hug, or even kiss her. Help me out of this hole someone. How can I get her to tell me if she loves me or not without making it sound awkward? |
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