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10-19-18 04:49:44 AM

Jul - Display Case - The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss New poll - New thread - Thread closed
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Dragon Fogel
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Posted on 03-24-11 09:12:03 PM Link
Originally posted by Xenesis
>Develop cold fusion technology


You develop fusion technology and then freeze it, despite not having enough materials at hand to do that at all. Surely this will move that boulder's heart of stone!

You hear no response and consider this a success for no reason at all. You schedule the wedding for last week so you're sure to be late for it.

Originally posted by YK
Play football.


You celebrate your new engagement by playing football with your fiancee. Except you don't have a football. And your fiancee is a boulder which isn't moving.

You lose 315-0.

Originally posted by Xenesis
>Retcon "The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss" so that Han shot first.


You retcon The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss so that Han shot first. Since there was never a Han anywhere near you, it's pointless to assume this means you were shot. You therefore lie down on the ground in pain as if you had just been shot.

At that moment, a bullet flies over your head and hits the boulder. It would have hit you if you were standing up. The boulder isn't seriously damaged, so you decided to seek vengeance on your unseen assailant for killing your bride-to-be (who you were supposed to marry a week ago).

Originally posted by Arp1033
Try to call your cell phone with your cell phone.


You decide to steal the narrator's cell phone and then call the number for it. But where is he?

Looking around, you see a mysterious figure in a trenchcoat pointing a gun at you. You conclude this must be Pac-Man, and you loudly ask him for his cell phone, since you see no reason why he would give it to you.

Startled, he suddenly vanishes, leaving you without a cell phone. So you try to call the narrator's cell phone with the narrator's cell phone without actually having the narrator's cell phone. Unsurprisingly, you fail.
Taryn
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Posted on 03-24-11 09:16:31 PM Link
Prove the Pythagorean theorem.
Xenesis
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Posted on 03-24-11 09:17:34 PM (last edited by Xenesis at 03-24-11 09:21 PM) Link
>Celebrate the return of the goddamn pac man!
YK

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Posted on 03-24-11 09:19:15 PM Link
Go on a quest for the Holy Grail.
Nicole

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Posted on 03-24-11 09:25:33 PM Link
Summon the flying monkeys.
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Posted on 03-24-11 09:26:31 PM Link
Concerned about that bullet. Find it.
(If we know where it is already? Throw it in the dark and find it again. Twice.)
Arp1033
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Posted on 03-25-11 04:18:27 AM Link
do all of the above while moonwalking.
YK

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Posted on 03-25-11 04:22:35 AM Link
Build an altar of worship dedicated to the great fat cat god Hydrapheetz.
Dragon Fogel
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Posted on 03-25-11 08:30:07 PM Link
Originally posted by Terra
Prove the Pythagorean theorem.


You set about proving the Pythagorean theorem by attempting to construct every possible right triangle and showing that the theorem holds. After about an hour, it occurs to you that this will prove it given a transfinite amount of time, which means it's not pointless enough for you. You decide to take a different approach.

Originally posted by Xenesis
>Celebrate the return of the goddamn pac man!


You celebrate the fact that Pac-Man has returned to narrate your adventure. You use your celebration as proof of the Pythagorean theorem. You're absolutely sure this won't prove it at all!

Originally posted by YK
Go on a quest for the Holy Grail.


You decide to embark on a quest for the Holy Grail. You take three steps and trip over it. Drat! You put it in your inventory, resolving to hide it somewhere later so your quest for it will be much more pointlessly difficult.

Item Obtained: The Holy Grail!

Originally posted by Imajin
Summon the flying monkeys.


You expend all of your MP on the spell Summon Flying Monkeys! Which you don't know. No monkeys are summoned, and you are now out of MP.

Originally posted by MM200
Concerned about that bullet. Find it.
(If we know where it is already? Throw it in the dark and find it again. Twice.)


The bullet struck the boulder. You go over and retrieve it. You then head over to another doorway, which leads into a dark room, then toss the bullet inside. Then you stumble around in the room, triggering several traps, until you finally emerge with the bullet. You then throw the bullet inside again and repeat the process. This time, you emerge from the dark room with the bullet and a gigantic key. You examine the key and notice that it does not get wi-fi.

Items Obtained: Spent Bullet and Gigantic Key!

Originally posted by Arp1033
do all of the above while moonwalking.


You repeat every action you have taken since the start of the adventure. Simultaneously. While moonwalking.

The end result of this is that you end up in exactly the same place and have accomplished nothing whatsoever. Success!

Originally posted by YK
Build an altar of worship dedicated to the great fat cat god Hydrapheetz.


You do so. You build the altar out of air. Then you don't worship at it, since it would be pointless to build an altar of worship that nobody worships at, plus this will probably get Hydrapheetz mad at you, which you have no reason to do.

What will you do next?
Taryn
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Posted on 03-25-11 08:31:08 PM Link
Build a more suitable altar out of a stronger material.
YK

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Posted on 03-25-11 08:33:45 PM Link
Equip the key as a helmet.
Xenesis
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Posted on 03-25-11 08:37:44 PM Link
>Avenge the death of your first born son, Gerald.
Sunny

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Posted on 03-25-11 08:37:48 PM Link
Make like Tingle and make a map of the area.
(Then sell your only copy...whoops?)
Arp1033
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Posted on 03-26-11 03:42:19 AM Link
Do none of the above, and then do the Worm.
YK

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Posted on 03-26-11 03:44:54 AM Link
Find 10,000 Jet Engines. Find a way to convert them into a single Jet Engine.
CB

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Posted on 03-26-11 10:21:33 PM Link
Hook up your nintendo DS to the Giagantic Key in hopes it gives the key it's wi-fi power.
Dragon Fogel
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Posted on 03-27-11 12:16:43 AM Link
Originally posted by Terra
Build a more suitable altar out of a stronger material.


An excellent point. Ignoring the altar of air may not anger Hydrapheetz enough. So you construct an altar out of dust instead, and then proceed to ignore it.

Originally posted by YK
Equip the key as a helmet.


Yes, this should be nice and pointless. You balance the key precariously on your head, so that it will easily fall off and hopefully leave your head defenseless at a critical moment.

Originally posted by Xenesis
>Avenge the death of your first born son, Gerald.


Yes! You will avenge the death of Pac-Man's firstborn son, Gerald. You don't think Pac-Man has a firstborn son named Gerald, let alone a dead one, which only makes it more pointless to swear vengeance for him.

Originally posted by MM200
Make like Tingle and make a map of the area.
(Then sell your only copy...whoops?)


You know this temple like the back of your hand, and could draw a map from memory. So you painstakingly explore the entire place to make a map. You then sell your map to the boulder for a price of negative three hundred gold pieces.

But you don't have 300 gold pieces on you! You are now in debt to the boulder.

Originally posted by Arp1033
Do none of the above, and then do the Worm.


You simultaneously do none of the things you have done since this adventure began. You then do the Worm.

Originally posted by YK
Find 10,000 Jet Engines. Find a way to convert them into a single Jet Engine.


You enter a secret room you uncovered during your exploration of the temple. It has 10,000 Jet Engines in it. You gather them up 10 and combine them to make a Rocket Engine. You repeat this until you have 1000 Rocket Engines. You then take 5 Rocket Engines and combine them to make a Speed Up. Repeating the process gives you 200 Speed Ups. You then combine two Speed Ups to make a Jet Engine, and repeat the process, giving you 100 Jet Engines. You then combine those into 10 Rocket Engines, then combine those into two Speed Ups, then combine those into one Jet Engine.

You then just leave the Jet Engine in the secret room and go back to the room with the boulder.

Originally posted by CB
Hook up your nintendo DS to the Giagantic Key in hopes it gives the key it's wi-fi power.


You don't have a DS, so you put the DS you don't have on your head to hook it up to the key. Fortunately, this has no effect whatsoever!

What will you do next?
YK

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Posted on 03-27-11 12:19:43 AM Link
Reinforce the altar to Hydrapheetz with the one Jet Engine, the Holy Grail, and the Boulder. Then find the most pointless way possible to desecrate it.
Taryn
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Posted on 03-27-11 12:21:05 AM Link
Juggle 10 full tubes of toothpaste with your nose.
Nicole

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Posted on 03-27-11 12:21:09 AM Link
I'll need some help. Call upon Captain Planet!
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Jul - Display Case - The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss New poll - New thread - Thread closed




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