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11-13-18 12:56:06 PM
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Jul - Innocent Town - Have you ever thought about being another gender?
  
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marrub
Posts: 39/44
Originally posted by RanAS
It has been a weird journey for me, and I'm still not sure I have found all the answers yet, but I think I'm okay with being a twink-ish guy with some feminine features. I never felt like I wanted to be a girl, but I also never really identified with the supposedly overly-masculine ideal of men, and neither did I ever identify with a lot of supposedly manly things like sports, overly competitiveness and an overbearing sense of dominance. I was always reserved, sensitive, a bit shy but also quite energetic sometimes.

welcome to the enby club~

Originally posted by RanAS
I'm only 5'7" and I weight like 115lbs at most. People used to joke a lot about how thin I was, saying stuff like how I'd fly away if the wind picked up.

hahhaha i'm 5'8" and 80lb fuck my life
RanAS
Posts: 492/496
It has been a weird journey for me, and I'm still not sure I have found all the answers yet, but I think I'm okay with being a twink-ish guy with some feminine features. I never felt like I wanted to be a girl, but I also never really identified with the supposedly overly-masculine ideal of men, and neither did I ever identify with a lot of supposedly manly things like sports, overly competitiveness and an overbearing sense of dominance. I was always reserved, sensitive, a bit shy but also quite energetic sometimes.

The biggest issue for me to accept was my body type. I'm only 5'7" and I weight like 115lbs at most. People used to joke a lot about how thin I was, saying stuff like how I'd fly away if the wind picked up. Even during high school, I found it a bit awkward that I was pear-shaped, as in, my hips are a bit larger than a guy's should be. But nowadays I'm starting to get more comfortable with it, and while I'm not okay with wearing skin-tight clothing at all, I suddenly don't mind wearing clothes that fit my shape better.

Another thing I learned during high school is when people asked me: "Why do you wear eyeliner?" But...I don't? I literally apply no makeup whatsoever, but then I look at my eyelids on a mirror and realize that yes, it does kinda look like it a bit, but I don't. That's just the way they are...

I'm slowly starting to get comfortable with myself and who I am I guess, even if I'm not sure what that really means exactly.

What probably helped with all this was me realizing that I'm bi, and then discovering much more about my attraction for guys.
Bloodstar
Posts: 11273/11273
Playing around with and thinking about gender things is neat, and I definitely encourage it. Even if you end up in the same spot, you'll no longer take it for granted and understand a bit more about yourself.

Originally posted by Bloodstar
It comes to mind every once in a while. Standard "what if" thoughts, really.

Honestly, though, I feel incredibly fucking lucky. I'm pretty comfortable in my body, and wouldn't want to change anything. That said, "what ifs" are fun to think about sometimes, but personally they're just idle wondering.

It's one of those things you just take for granted until you know someone in such a situation, I suppose. I've always kinda felt weird talking about it, because I know feeling discomfort is... unfortunately common.


This still rings true. Every once in a while it's fun to entertain the idea of "well, what if...?" Even being comfortable with my gender identity, it's fun to try things sometimes.
...Hell, I've gained striped socks and arm warmers out of the deal.

I'm also trying to open up a bit more about it. I'm always terrified to really speak up much, because I'm always terrified it'll be akin to stepping on someone's toes with steel boots or something.

It's just great to see people discover themselves.
Mistral
Posts: 3808/3817
Originally posted by Kazinsal
this is a really really weird thing for me because I've known and been friends with trans people for half my life at this point, both on and off the internet. when this thread showed up I put myself under the umbrella of "every now and then" because it was usually less of an actively thinking about it and more of a "well if it happened it wouldn't be bad" and sometimes a "it'd be neat if it did happen".

last night I was casually browsing the internet and stumbled upon /r/transpassing and thought to myself longingly at several points, "gosh, I wish I could look like her", and it started kinda falling together in my head maybe a bit? I don't know. it'd be nice I guess. another thing I've wondered more recently that I never used to was "how far could I transition without anyone noticing" and maybe that's like, a step or something that puts me over that boundary of "every now and then"? I don't know

fuck this is difficult.
it sure is.
i will say,
nothing is instant, even realization
as cliche as it sounds, it *is* a process.
i spent like, weeks agonizing over my identity,
from wondering if i was just faking,
or projecting a fetish onto my entire identity,
to silly sounding stuff like, what *name* should i use??

i still question myself sometimes. it's hard.
the world is fucked up and scary.
and bigotry is so omnipresent that even hypothetical bigotry can be a real force on you emotionally.

if being a girl is right for you, you'll get there.
if just presenting in a feminine way is what works for you, you'll find that out.
everything will work out in due time.

do your best, okay?
Kazinsal
Posts: 620/620
this is a really really weird thing for me because I've known and been friends with trans people for half my life at this point, both on and off the internet. when this thread showed up I put myself under the umbrella of "every now and then" because it was usually less of an actively thinking about it and more of a "well if it happened it wouldn't be bad" and sometimes a "it'd be neat if it did happen".

last night I was casually browsing the internet and stumbled upon /r/transpassing and thought to myself longingly at several points, "gosh, I wish I could look like her", and it started kinda falling together in my head maybe a bit? I don't know. it'd be nice I guess. another thing I've wondered more recently that I never used to was "how far could I transition without anyone noticing" and maybe that's like, a step or something that puts me over that boundary of "every now and then"? I don't know

fuck this is difficult.
Mistral
Posts: 3807/3817
Originally posted by Xkeeper
idk how well participating in the gender shenanigans party would've helped because someone was very much involved and only really realized what was going on a year ago, and even then

yeah... like
for another example... i:
joined jul: 8/22/07
realized i was trans: ...early-mid 2012, i wanna say
and that was basically only bc i "lucked"[1] into a huge group of leftist trans girls on twitter,
who smacked me upside the head re: my politics, and at the same time,
i was in a hellish residential trade school thing where i was surrounded by like...
so much excessive machismo and cis dudes being obnoxious cis dudes
to the point that everything combined into one huge ball of fuck,
and i ended up coming to my realization that i wasnt a dude

had it not been for that perfect confluence of factors i probably wouldve went on,
thinking i was just another unfulfilled cis guy, for years
i also probably wouldve wound up being like, a libertarian. oigh

i guess what im saying is like,
discovery and realization comes in a lot of ways.
i like to think that as long as you get where you're going,
it matters a lot less when you realize that you've gotta get there

[1]: "lucked" in scare quotes because im no longer on good terms w/almost any of them,
and they taught me a bunch of toxic shit about nonbinary people,
which took years to unlearn in and of itself.
fuckin assholes.
Xkeeper
Posts: 24671/24681
idk how well participating in the gender shenanigans party would've helped because someone was very much involved and only really realized what was going on a year ago, and even then
Mistral
Posts: 3806/3817
Originally posted by Rambly
it seriously fills me with so much joy to see younger people on e.g. reddit trans subs just... playing around with gender, getting to be free and open and just. being themselves from so much younger ages. the culture around being trans has changed and i hope i hope i hope to god it keeps changing for the better. i really hope more young people can just spend their youth being themselves and like... living life
for real. if i can do shit now to make sure people after me have an easier time of being trans... ill do my best.

btw i think in the other thread i made in here you mentioned i blocked you on twitter at some point and i dont remember your username so mm uh
could you let me know that so i could unblock you bc like, i feel lowkey ashamed about my long-past twitter tantrums and wanna make things right
Rambly
Posts: 2087/2093
it's basically just a "bonus board" / secret board that has a really weird/loose topicality

Originally posted by Mistral
...i wish i'd put two and two together sooner, honestly
fucking same.

i never really was part of the gender shenanigans anywhere but i kinda wish i had cuz it might have cracked my stupid shell earlier. but i told myself i didn't deserve to have fun or be a girl or anything for 8 years (20 years) and dissociated and ran away from everyone and internalized my self-loathing and that was that!




;;

it seriously fills me with so much joy to see younger people on e.g. reddit trans subs just... playing around with gender, getting to be free and open and just. being themselves from so much younger ages. the culture around being trans has changed and i hope i hope i hope to god it keeps changing for the better. i really hope more young people can just spend their youth being themselves and like... living life
Xkeeper
Posts: 24663/24681
Originally posted by Q
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket




Originally posted by Mistral
Originally posted by Xkeeper
the amount of acmlm's board people who ended up being trans is incredible
i mean, we were goofing around with gender stuff all the time...
valkyrie items, catgirl shenanigans, half of the users loving ranma 1/2
it's a miracle more of us didn't end up being trans, if anything

...i wish i'd put two and two together sooner, honestly

same
Xkeeper
Posts: 24662/24681
Originally posted by headache booth
no need to think about it when every time i wake up i'm a different gender anyways

edit: wait what is this place anyways? i found it when i took a look at another member's profile and didn't realise it was hidden until a while after i posted this.
...am i not supposed to be here? cos if i'm not i will stay out

this place is a loosely-guarded secret more than anything. congratulations on finding it, and welcome

Bloodstar
Posts: 11272/11273
Originally posted by headache booth
edit: wait what is this place anyways? i found it when i took a look at another member's profile and didn't realise it was hidden until a while after i posted this.
...am i not supposed to be here? cos if i'm not i will stay out


You're fine! It's an open board for posting, just merely hidden.
headache booth
Posts: 4/10
no need to think about it when every time i wake up i'm a different gender anyways

edit: wait what is this place anyways? i found it when i took a look at another member's profile and didn't realise it was hidden until a while after i posted this.
...am i not supposed to be here? cos if i'm not i will stay out
marrub
Posts: 37/44
Originally posted by Q
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket

god damn it
Mistral
Posts: 3800/3817
Originally posted by Xkeeper
the amount of acmlm's board people who ended up being trans is incredible
i mean, we were goofing around with gender stuff all the time...
valkyrie items, catgirl shenanigans, half of the users loving ranma 1/2
it's a miracle more of us didn't end up being trans, if anything

...i wish i'd put two and two together sooner, honestly
Q
Posts: 2905/2908
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket
Xkeeper
Posts: 24660/24681
the amount of acmlm's board people who ended up being trans is incredible
2Tie
Posts: 1095/1096
Originally posted by Mistral
gender makes me want to fight someone

hi you can fight me i won't put up much of a defense
Mistral
Posts: 3799/3817
gender makes me want to fight someone
marrub
Posts: 33/44
oof now that my egg cracked what I voted on this thread made me laugh
This is a long thread. Click here to view it.
Jul - Innocent Town - Have you ever thought about being another gender?



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